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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bluedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1016
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 330



    Description:
       This is in the vein of a lot of my other works, sorry.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBluedots
    -------------------------------------------


    He was always down,
    but he never painted anything blue,
    He danced around his melancholy subtly and beautifully.
    To a casual observer his works never revealed his depression,
    but if you lingered the absence of azure and indigo only made you think of blue, and the gloom became a vortex.





    Submitted on 2004-05-17 21:23:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the subtle yet intricate way you weave this ,--it reflects the meaning of the poem itself. People put on social masks,--artists paint canvasses in seemingly rainbow bright expression--but most often it is what is NOT seen, that reveals the true message, the whole picture. This is just great Amy.
    | Posted on 2004-06-04 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      "He danced around his melancholy..." love that line! i'm not sure that i understand the last line, though, "and the gloom became a vortex." it doesn't seem to fit with the lines above it. but that's just me. i can imagine that a painting without blue in it would make you think "where's the blue?" it's such a basic kinda color.
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good, i know you are talking about an artist, but im not sure which one, the only line i wasnt sure about was the last one, with that line it seems that there should be more added, it leaves me wondering where that vortex leads you, is it into the artists mind or where, that line just confused me a bit, but the rest of the poem was great my favorite lines has to be :


    He danced around his melancholy
    Subtly and beautifully
    To a casual observer


    ithought that was beautiful, great write
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I prefer writing sad poems when I'm sad but that's a great image you used here. some people just always pretend to be happy but when you have a secound look you could see that they're just wearing a mask. very well done.
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm... So what did he pain in his blue period, then?

    He danced around his melancholy
    Subtly and beautifully

    That is subtly beautiful, Ames...
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      It rather dances too - 'til the last line of punctuation and the reminder that what you see isn't always what you get.
    Munch would be able to comment...
    You sneaked that last line in under the radar - and it's effective that way.
    K
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      This tickles me right he...well, I'd better not show where. Might be accused of indecent exposure. I have a feeling that the present tense would make this even better and just a hint of rhyme could make it masterfull. Nonetheless a favourite. I'm just standing here waiting for inspiration and really envious of your work.
    | Posted on 2004-05-17 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      I still think of you as the best one in here, your poems are complex but at the same time simple to grasp. You create an insatiable thirst for poetry reading, if only you wrote all the time.
    | Posted on 2004-05-17 00:00:00 | by JR Hoodlum | [ Reply to This ]
      This is quite good. The only line that is not perfect is the last line. I don't know why. this is definitely original and well drawn
    | Posted on 2004-05-17 00:00:00 | by spitacidsoot | [ Reply to This ]


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