Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bluedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 771
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 330



    Description:
       This is in the vein of a lot of my other works, sorry.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBluedots
    -------------------------------------------


    He was always down,
    but he never painted anything blue,
    He danced around his melancholy subtly and beautifully.
    To a casual observer his works never revealed his depression,
    but if you lingered the absence of azure and indigo only made you think of blue, and the gloom became a vortex.





    Submitted on 2004-05-17 21:23:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the subtle yet intricate way you weave this ,--it reflects the meaning of the poem itself. People put on social masks,--artists paint canvasses in seemingly rainbow bright expression--but most often it is what is NOT seen, that reveals the true message, the whole picture. This is just great Amy.
    | Posted on 2004-06-04 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      "He danced around his melancholy..." love that line! i'm not sure that i understand the last line, though, "and the gloom became a vortex." it doesn't seem to fit with the lines above it. but that's just me. i can imagine that a painting without blue in it would make you think "where's the blue?" it's such a basic kinda color.
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good, i know you are talking about an artist, but im not sure which one, the only line i wasnt sure about was the last one, with that line it seems that there should be more added, it leaves me wondering where that vortex leads you, is it into the artists mind or where, that line just confused me a bit, but the rest of the poem was great my favorite lines has to be :


    He danced around his melancholy
    Subtly and beautifully
    To a casual observer


    ithought that was beautiful, great write
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I prefer writing sad poems when I'm sad but that's a great image you used here. some people just always pretend to be happy but when you have a secound look you could see that they're just wearing a mask. very well done.
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm... So what did he pain in his blue period, then?

    He danced around his melancholy
    Subtly and beautifully

    That is subtly beautiful, Ames...
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      It rather dances too - 'til the last line of punctuation and the reminder that what you see isn't always what you get.
    Munch would be able to comment...
    You sneaked that last line in under the radar - and it's effective that way.
    K
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      This tickles me right he...well, I'd better not show where. Might be accused of indecent exposure. I have a feeling that the present tense would make this even better and just a hint of rhyme could make it masterfull. Nonetheless a favourite. I'm just standing here waiting for inspiration and really envious of your work.
    | Posted on 2004-05-17 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      I still think of you as the best one in here, your poems are complex but at the same time simple to grasp. You create an insatiable thirst for poetry reading, if only you wrote all the time.
    | Posted on 2004-05-17 00:00:00 | by JR Hoodlum | [ Reply to This ]
      This is quite good. The only line that is not perfect is the last line. I don't know why. this is definitely original and well drawn
    | Posted on 2004-05-17 00:00:00 | by spitacidsoot | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    11235

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Anagnorsis written by Chelebel
    Morte written by Blue Monk
    Tethered written by expiring_touch
    Sleep written by moaxcym
    Every moment is somewhere written by hyproglo
    Love of A Kind written by Chelebel
    Puzzled written by closetpoet
    APPEAL DISMISSED written by MyPeriodical
    reflective devices written by CrypticBard
    Stale gum written by OneDarkFlame92
    Essentials - Prologue written by PryncessVynom
    Winter Mourning written by MyPeriodical
    In the Beginning written by PryncessVynom
    A Promise written by poetotoe
    Burdens of a Devil and Dream written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In 13 Hours or Less written by poetotoe
    Cunnilingus written by hyproglo
    Subside written by saartha
    Plutonian Nepenthe written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Street Lights written by Chelebel
    Euthanize Me written by dancer-of-words
    Nahko medicine for the people written by Chelebel
    A Question written by poetotoe
    Travel far written by hyproglo
    Interstate written by Chelebel
    Divine written by Chelebel
    Applications 📋 written by Chelebel
    Evil written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Therein Wanderlust written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Pollens

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry