The trees and I -------------------------------------------
I took a stroll
the other night.
Walked deep into
the dark depths
of the forest.
Where the trees
and I
had a lengthy conversation,
about the way things are,
the way things used to be
and the way things are becoming
Then together
we cried.
i really like this considering theres a craze about global warming and everyones just thinking about themselves...not the environment. and if everyone truly cared about global warming there would be more people like me who ride bikes basically everywhere. sure, the hybrids a nice touch but it doesnt completely erase the problem.
as far as the poem, the last 2 lines are genius. it just falls on you...the weight of emotion...like a ton of bricks. i really like this poem because its not selfish as so much is nowadays by young writers. you're giving us a look on the other side of the coin and thank you for that. great write and i look forward to reading more. take care Birdy
I really like this. It speaks to me. Just being able to talk to something that can't talk back, or judge (such as the trees), yet , feel as if they heard and understood every word you spoke (orally, or from your heart), and even cried with you. Yep, I like this one. It's good. Keep writing. ~Sandra
I think this poem sounds very spiritual. I love the grounding earthy affect trees have on you, I think they are magickal in a way. I loved the poem and how you personified the trees. The best bit of the poem is how you split the line:
"and I had a lengthy conversation"
as this really made the "and I" bit stand and without disrupting the flow of the poem.
I think you could expand or go over this poem and improve it even more and give it even more depth,
Haha, your like me. Only...I talk to my cats and my animals. Many people talk to inanimate objects or pets, its a source of venting without fearing any repercussions. It helps, and it's good for you. Better than venting and throwing a chair.
The last sentence was probably the best. It kept you wondering about the poem, and wanting more, but still understanding.
Well, there are some things you can't tell other people, so tell it to the wind, write it down and burn it, talk to yourself, or whatever it takes to get it out. It's cahtarsis and psychologically healthy.
I like the closing lines because they can be taken in so many ways: it could have indeed been a weeping willow (ha ha), you felt that even the tree's spirit was troubled by what you said, it could have been rain or dew, etc.
I like the minimalism of this. I'm glad you didn't mention what you told the trees because it makes me think of what I might say to them.
I think you could clean this up a bit though:
I took a stroll the other night. Walked deep into the dark depths of the forest.
Why not add an I before walked? I think "dark depths of the forest" is a bit of a cliché: I'm sure you're creative enough to come up with another way to say that.
Where the trees and I had a lengthy conversation, about the way things are, the way things used to be and what they are becoming. Then together we cried.
For the sake of parallelism, why not say "the way they are becoming" (since you said "the way "on the others).
No doubt it was a weeping willow. Actually I often used to go for long hikes and found myself refreshed by them. Sure, things are not what they were, and they never will be again. Evolution doesn't believe in repeating itself. Instead, it takes a different turn for survival, and what it becomes is what it needs, not always what we expect. I like your writing, though, and expect to see more of what YOU do for survival.
I can relate to this poem quite a bit. I like to take walks in a cayon behind my house. Though i like to hike with friends, i tend to enjoy the nature around me much more when i'm alone. But i'm really only alone when it comes to other people, for the life around me keeps me company.
My favorite sound is that of the rustle of leaves when the wind blows through the trees. It sounds something like a thousand whispers conveying wisdom and often comfort. Though they don't speak in words, they do convey things to me, things that i'm not sure could really be translated into words.
Your poem suggests a conversation of sadness and i have done that too, prehaps that is why i think it's really good. However though, i have often found, that when the sun is out and the trees speak to me, my melocoly seems to fall away and i can't help but break into a smile.
Submission Name: The trees and I
