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Author: Aetha Daemon
Elite Ratio:    6.81 - 91 /56 /29
Words: 57
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 1071
Average Vote:    2.3333
Bytes: 510


One of my few angst poems...but I really felt it.


Striking clouds of red
red blood with lines
of fire, lashing.

A void of night
Black smoke
And choking stench

Tangles, weeds, brambles
rise up and twine
groping, ripping, scratching

Roots reach up and
trip, stumble, thrash
Blind and raging

Hurting, suffocating

Bleached eyesight;
White and black, red

Submitted on 2006-07-27 22:46:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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  it sounds to me like when i close my eyes and let the sunlight hit my eyelids. And then kinds deciding to put my hand over my face.
| Posted on 2006-07-27 00:00:00 | by JTrickly | [ Reply to This ]
  It seems really unclear what you are trying to descrive here. It almost feels like It seems too chopy of a poem; Like you keep giving all these adjectives but the subject your descrbing seems to be missing. Although It seems unclear I can somewhat relate it to a ride at the Amusement Park near my house. The feeling you get when you get off of the ride and how it is hard to see straight, but I am not sure. Take Care.

| Posted on 2006-08-18 00:00:00 | by remedy bayden | [ Reply to This ]

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