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A World Apart

Author: Aetha Daemon
Elite Ratio:    6.81 - 91 /56 /29
Words: 65
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1026
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 458


A World Apart

A cloud flies by
So does a gull
So does a leaf
Colored so dull

There is a heart
That beats in silence
A life that lives
In quietness

So quietly
It sleeps;
So quietly,
It weeps

For a world
Its never seen
For a place
Its never been

Hardly there
Hardly a heart
Wrongly born
A world apart

Submitted on 2006-07-28 01:49:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I don't mean to say that this is not a good poem, it is, however, this particular subject has been talked about again and again. in the beginning it starts off as dull-lol then just quiet. then the heart comes in and what it does not have. on any other day i guess i woould have enjoyed it but today, the subject looks so same ol same ol.
however, one thing i appreciate is your ability to use short phrases and make a great sense out of them. actually i am a fan of short pieces with potent effect. and i think the right trimmings here and there could do the trick.
| Posted on 2006-07-28 00:00:00 | by nevender | [ Reply to This ]
  I have to say that this is a wonderful peice. I've been reading a few of your writings and I think it is really quite fantastic. You should think about getting it published. I wish you the best of luck with your writings.
| Posted on 2006-07-28 00:00:00 | by chaos_bite | [ Reply to This ]

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