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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What I Learned in Poetry CLassdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1064
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 520



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat I Learned in Poetry CLassdots
    -------------------------------------------


    One plus one plus one is artichoke;
    The remainder a gift in the little box.

    Farmers often make good earthworms
    And earthworms eat their dreams.

    Mothers donít like you waltzing
    In their kitchens with their husbands

    Proving theorems in geometry
    could blow your houseís windows out.

    Never dive into the deep
    without your flying feathers on.

    And the capital of everywhere
    is your own kitchen table.




    Submitted on 2006-07-28 16:04:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this, but I think you need to go somewhere with it. the 4th stanza seems out of place with what i think you're trying to say. don't be discouraged - this is a process. this is a terrrific start and has lots of potential.

    peace,

    joe
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      One plus one plus one is artichoke;
    The remainder a gift in the little box.

    Farmers often make good earthworms
    And earthworms eat their dreams.

    And mothers donít like you waltzing
    In their kitchens with their husbands.

    Proving theorems in geometry
    could blow your houseís windows out.

    Never dive into the deep
    without your flying feathers on.

    And the capital of everywhere
    is your own kitchen table.


    "Sleepless delirium
    and caffeine are lovers

    And a word processor
    is my best friend"

    Oops! Sorry! I tossed out a few lines of my own making as the chains of learning drew me back into class. I'm afraid the first critique missed the point, wildly absurd creativity is the central theme of this post and the desk (or table) the writer calls home is the center of the universe.

    Not a single nipick to be had in this one.
    Nicely done.
    Take care.
    Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-07-28 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Meh, this was funny! I had a good chuckle. I like how the cynicysm just eeks out of every word, and how you keep switching subjects. Simply marvelous, with the little image snippets. It doesn't tell a story though, and I found that a major drawback. Centralize it. Tell me what you are thinking of when you try to draw me in with snippets. Thats what this poem needs. Well then. Im off to see more! Blessd be!
    ~Aetha
    | Posted on 2006-07-28 00:00:00 | by Aetha Daemon | [ Reply to This ]


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