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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: explosivesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: koster
    ASL Info:    51 So. Calif deser
    Elite Ratio:    6.89 - 185/105/78
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1130
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 808



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsexplosivesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    All in the world that meets my eyes
    when I choose to look beyond
    creations of man's collossal will
    all is such to cause me pause
    and regard the explosive truth
    that this granite orb we habit
    is whirling through sparkling seas
    we call nebulas and galaxies
    that the lowliest form of life
    replicates in a muddy pool
    and exchanges organic molecules
    into something plants must have to live
    that inside the trunk of a cypress tree
    that forty years ago died
    is enough atomic energy calmly residing
    to rival in release for a spell
    the brilliance of any number of suns
    all quite sufficient to enter my mind
    and blast into bits the stubborn belief
    that I am master of my destiny




    Submitted on 2006-07-28 23:48:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Loved it! These "explosives" can become scary things, as they become more abundant, and fall into fanatical hands. As for our existence on this globe, and the likewise amazing other species that share it with us, we must find ways to co-exist, or die off sequentially. WE are a linked bio-system, interdependent, functioning as one. As to our ride through space, it is the epitomy of wonder. I read and follow space exploration with wide eyes, yet I can go only so far before I become humble and feel insignificant. Just gazing at the 'Hubble' photos leaves me speechless, such beauty and magnitude together.

    Your poem touches on all these "that meet" your "eyes." You address them in introspect, you give your viewpoint, while at the same time entertaining the reader and pulling them along to your pointed conclusion. It smacks of "things are out of control" and you're right, they are.

    A few suggestions (minor) : L10 One too many "that"s, drop this one. L13 Drop "to know." L18 Too close a repeat of "enough", try "sufficient."

    A very well presented synopsis of the human condition. It explores our fears and our awe. It lays bare our inner soul-searched questions and leaves us wondering what to do. Terrific poem.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]


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