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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Full Circledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rastine Aristat
    ASL Info:    19/Male/California
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 125/62/31
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1029
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 884



    Description:
       Ok, call it how you like, but I really want unbiased here, so whatever you say, be honest.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFull Circledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sable serenity fades
    As golden fissures open
    To be filled with rosy lies,
    Promising festivity
    For a sacrifice of tranquility.

    The golden orb rises,
    Eradicating all hope of peace,
    The height of itís reign,
    Benevolent oppression,
    Offering sanctuary for worship,
    As men toil like ants,
    Under itís baleful glare
    Until defeated,
    Those left standing
    Sulk back to their homes.

    Blood flows freely from the land,
    Staining crimson the western sky,
    As a lavender army
    Overtakes that of crystalline blue,
    Ushering in a new era,
    One of peace and song, and harmony
    Under the placid silver rule,
    And infinite council of twinkling peace.
    Until once more,
    Ruddy streams taint raven ideals
    On the eastern front.




    Submitted on 2006-07-29 07:09:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This poem uses very Beautiful imagery. It's almost like i can picture everything that's going on in my head perfectly. There is nothing wrong with the poem that i can think of. Keep up the great work.

    R.bayden
    | Posted on 2006-08-04 00:00:00 | by remedy bayden | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't really know what to say about this except that i really like it. I love poetry that is wonderful to read and even better to hear aloud. The imagery was beautiful, all the colors created a lovely picture.

    xena
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by xena z rokax | [ Reply to This ]
      intricate way of talking about nature. i must say u have large repository of English, nd i mean good english, this is good especially when you were talking about the sun in the second phrase. good.
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by nevender | [ Reply to This ]
      I get the feeling you are saying there is no real end to wars as we know it. Whenever we find peace in one place, another place errupts into battle. Your imagery was near perfect, a little overdone with some of the descriptions you used. In some places, you seemed to paint to much of a picture and overwhelm me. I would suggest you scale back on a few of the details and just let it flow as you did when speaking of how history repeats itself. That is just my take on it. I still enjoyed it very much.

    Trina
    | Posted on 2006-09-09 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


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