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Sunday Pumping Gas

Author: Lost Sheep
ASL Info:    41 M Vancouver, WA
Elite Ratio:    6.25 - 913 /773 /73
Words: 64
Class/Type: Prose /Depressed
Total Views: 1639
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 413


The one piece of my life that’s less than ideal is our financial condition. It’s been stressing me quite a bit lately.

Sunday Pumping Gas

Sun glistens off the wet car
The plate reads 39Willys

Five bicyclists, fit and tan
Passed by a fortune in leather astride vintage Harleys

Kayaks ride high on a truck
Seniors step down from their motor home

The man pumps his last $20 into his rusted car
Shuffles back to work

He wonders where he made the wrong choice.

Submitted on 2006-07-29 12:25:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Ahh, the price of gas huh? I have a small hatch... and thank god for that, but still, it costs an arm and a leg to fill up-- I don't think I've seen it filled up completely in the last six months lol.

This part here:
Five bicyclists, fit and tan
Passed by a fortune in leather astride vintage Harleys

-- It makes sense, but somehow I think you could tweak this to be a bit more definitive. As it is, it's a bit... undefined to me I guess. Ok, let me rephrase this:
Five bicyclists passed by a fortune in leather astride Harleys
-- So, you mean some cyclists passed some Harley riders? It makes sense, but... it seems convoluted...

Hmm... I think what it is is that you're describing leather without the people inside it lol. Maybe what I'm missing here is "passed by a fortune in leatherclad bikers..." or something like that, you know?

Sorry to be so damn picky but this was the only part that made me stumble and have to reread in order to clarify what you were talking about.

As for the rest, it speaks for itself really... especially the last three lines. I think a lot of us (including myself) feel this way-- where is all my damn money going? Into this freakin' car, that's where lol.

Alternative fuel sources? Not until they drain this earth dry in search of the ever-mighty dollar it seems...

But I'm ranting.

Thoughtful piece Steve.

| Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
  My darling Steve, many a good times have been had in that rusty car. You've carried on countless conversations with irreplaceable friends and loves, you've carted around two beautiful boys, you've seen me bare my soul in that rusty car. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you lately. Perhaps you and I, rendezvous, very soon? I do miss you.

Love always,
| Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by nebnim | [ Reply to This ]
  Excellent "moment of the day!" Enjoyed this read thoroughly...several times. Been there...done that! LOL!

Personally...I'd have put in only $18 of the $20...scrounged nine cents in my unused ashtray...and headed to the local Dunkin' Donuts for a hazelnut ice-coffee... Then, I might have enjoyed sipping while I found a nice quiet place to enjoy the simpler things in life. Not a bad choice, eh? LOL!

I also wouldn't trade in my rusty ole car for all the kayaks, bikes and motor homes in the world! Happy that I have it.

Peace and contentment to you...
| Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by KimmyMim | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a good prose. You express the frustration well with your words. I could almost hear the 'sigh' as I read this. Our world is very difficult these days and it seems it only gets worse and worse. I like how you chose the gas station to set the scene here, most appropriate considering the prices these days. I often wonder when it will stop, how high can these prices go, and why isnt anyone doing anything about it? Anyway, enough about that. I also like how you have given examples of the other people you saw while standing there, it really gives the reader a vivid picture in the mind as to the scenery. One thing I can say is you are not alone my friend! Inflation is all around us, ever present and worse than ever. It isnt easy to get ahead, just trying to survive is a challenge all in itself. Hang in there, it is good to see you writing, a wonderful way to release some feelings. I hope things get better for you. Sending my best wishes.

| Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  this makes me think of how i have been living from paycheck to paycheck for the last i don't know how many hears.. pumping the last $20 you have into your gas tank sounds so familiar.

"He wonders where he made the wrong choice."

i certainly know of bad choices in my life that have brought me to where i am. luckily, things have changed and i am no longer in that place i was.

i liked the visuals, of the kayaks, bicycles and motor home.. there is wishful thinking here. why can't i have such things? (and really, they are just things.. i'm learning to be less materialistic in my older age... haha!)

good job, Steve. i hope things look up for you soon.

| Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  i dunno...
i dont know if its a wrong choice...
specially not if you think kayaks, harleys and RVs are the right choice... yikes!
but i do understand what you are saying here and well... i know it sounds cliché but i also know it to be true... money cant buy anything and if you possess happiness then you have a lot more than some who have every material thing buyable...

when i was 11 my mother left her 3rd husnband and i was living with her at the time and after she had paid bills and all that guff we would have $22 a fortnight for food for the two of us... they were tough times and my mother wanted to cancel christmas she was that upset she couldnt get us presents or put on a christmas meal or anything but you know what... that christmas was THE most amazing christmas ive ever had... we had eachother and that was everything... and you know what... people who didnt even know the situation gave us all kindsa things... sweets and stuff that made our christmas season feel so blessed.

no i dont tell you that to make you sound ungreatful for what you have but perhaps to inspire you to look at wealth differntly i guess... you have a beautiful wife and children who love you... i think you might very well be one of the richest people i know but then... i think you already know that one way or another...

good luck steve!
| Posted on 2006-08-21 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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