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    dots Submission Name: in the enddots

    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 736
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 657

       i wrote this for my mother. sometimes it seems that she is younger than me. i love her but its hard. i just moved back in with her. i was in group homes for five years because of her and now i have to take care of her. i love her but its hard

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsin the enddots

    things are new
    its not the same
    i'll learn the rules
    of this new game

    i want to do
    whats best for her
    i think i'm right
    but can't be sure

    of all the things
    thats left to give
    i cannot give
    the life i live

    although i try
    to calm her cries
    i cannot seem
    to dry her eyes

    i'll let her fight
    her battles out
    i'll watch her pain
    i'll watch he shout

    but in the end
    i'll wipe those tears
    and in the end
    i'll ease her fears

    Submitted on 2006-07-29 12:39:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this was very good, I'm sorry for your situation with your mom, but its good to know how much love you have for her.I have no critizism for this, no major changes are needed, if you want to read something else of mine, I would suggest "my body drops", it is on my latest 20, so it will be eazy to find

    much love
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by maninthemirror | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this one. It had alot of emotion it, and it said what you were saying really clearly. good job

    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by sweetme16 | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a lot of emotion in this one, it is a really good, sound poem. It flows well, and has a good rhythm. Just watch some of your spelling and it's all good, well done :)
    x poetic harmony x
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by Potic Harmonie | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem, I makes me wanna go help someone, even when theres no one to help.
    I wanna be there for someone I don't have.
    I think thats a good thing.
    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]

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