Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: in the enddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 760
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 657



    Description:
       i wrote this for my mother. sometimes it seems that she is younger than me. i love her but its hard. i just moved back in with her. i was in group homes for five years because of her and now i have to take care of her. i love her but its hard


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsin the enddots
    -------------------------------------------


    things are new
    its not the same
    i'll learn the rules
    of this new game

    i want to do
    whats best for her
    i think i'm right
    but can't be sure

    of all the things
    thats left to give
    i cannot give
    the life i live

    although i try
    to calm her cries
    i cannot seem
    to dry her eyes

    i'll let her fight
    her battles out
    i'll watch her pain
    i'll watch he shout

    but in the end
    i'll wipe those tears
    and in the end
    i'll ease her fears




    Submitted on 2006-07-29 12:39:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this was very good, I'm sorry for your situation with your mom, but its good to know how much love you have for her.I have no critizism for this, no major changes are needed, if you want to read something else of mine, I would suggest "my body drops", it is on my latest 20, so it will be eazy to find

    much love
    Jsells
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by maninthemirror | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this one. It had alot of emotion it, and it said what you were saying really clearly. good job



    ~sweetme
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by sweetme16 | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a lot of emotion in this one, it is a really good, sound poem. It flows well, and has a good rhythm. Just watch some of your spelling and it's all good, well done :)
    x poetic harmony x
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by Poétic Harmonie | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem, I makes me wanna go help someone, even when theres no one to help.
    I wanna be there for someone I don't have.
    I think thats a good thing.
    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    112565

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Records I written by Raphael
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry