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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Today in the Worlddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lost Sheep
    ASL Info:    41 M Vancouver, WA
    Elite Ratio:    6.25 - 913/773/73
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 1530
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1399



    Description:
       Ever notice how we say all the same things, but we can never agree??


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsToday in the Worlddots
    -------------------------------------------


    This is our land.
    You need to leave.
    The lord gave it to us.
    It says so here in my book.

    No, this is our land.
    You need to leave.
    You lost it and the lord gave it to us.
    It says so here in my book.


    The lord gave it to us
    If you wonít leave
    Iíll be forced to kill you
    It says so here in my book

    No, the lord gave it to us
    If you wonít leave
    Iíll be forced to kill you
    It says so here in my book


    Here, my friend,
    Would you like to buy a gun?

    Here, my friend,
    Would you like to buy a bigger gun?


    Government officials here stated
    that the fighting will stop
    only when the infidels surrender.

    Government officials here stated
    that the fighting will stop
    only when the infidels are disarmed.


    The dirty bastards bombed the hospital!!

    A terrorist missile hit the school!!

    My son is gone!! My only son!

    My baby!! My sweet little baby!!







    Submitted on 2006-07-29 15:18:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The atrocities of life, the odd necessity of war, all of it and it's foolish consequnces that [censored]ize humanity from any sort of savior - whether it be scientific or religions, eternal or temporary - all of it is presented here.

    We all want and do the same things. The terrorist murder civilians. The Coalition shoots them down half way across the world, both desire the same thing, peace, but in their own way.

    I really like this write. It's a fav here.
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Flynn | [ Reply to This ]
      What a way to present the current issues people are facing in the Middle East!

    Two opposing sides, both justified in their killings through religious beliefs. How can this kind of a situation ever be resolved?

    And then, just when your readers want to trhough up their hands a ignore the whole thing a human face is painted onto the issue. And it is a lifeless child's face.

    I wish we could stop focusing on land and start focusing on those who live in the land- those who have done nothing wrong- those who are too young to give their lives for a battle cause.

    I love you honey! Thanks for the 'something in my eye' piece!

    Me
    | Posted on 2006-07-31 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      hey, this touched me like no piece of writing on ES has. I'm no poem critic, I don't know how to analyze one so I'll just say a little about the sentiments expressed: My friend's little neice was killed in the ongoing middle-east conflict and I just found out. The situation depresses me, makes me think of the hundereds of innocents killed on both sides everyday, their only mistake being they stand for what they believe in, what they believe is theirs. I felt your poem quite succinctly expressed the truth of the matter and the last two lines drove the message home:

    My son is gone!! My only son!
    My baby!! My sweet little baby!!

    I wonder if it will ever end anywhere...



    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by cabbalistic | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a very powerful write.

    for a while now i have been aware that most arguments echo the words of the opposition though i never thought of it on quite this big a scale.

    i remember when my grandmother was still alive. i was the only person she had as her and my mother didnt get along AT ALL
    and i tried to do the whole reconcilliation thing coz thats what i do best i guess and well...
    i had my mother saying one thing in one ear and my grandmother saying the exact same thing in the other and i wanted to bash their heads together or something... make them realise how pathetic they were being...
    well... i got a little ways in that direction before grandma passed away and i feel good about that now...

    i wonder if i could go and butt these two voices heads together and help them find sense
    maybe not...

    but this is very well crafted.
    i like how you didnt have them saying the exact same thing but that you varied a word or two as you went so that it wasnt an identical echo even though it was...

    the part about "my book says so..."
    i dont know how i want to respond to that bit actually...
    thats the thing about so much of the middle eastern faiths... they all have very similar books (though ill prolly get hung for saying that)
    most of them are along the lines of the christian bible... jews have their torah (from which the christian bibles Old Testament comes from) Islam has the Q'uran which contains many of the same stories the torah and old testament contain and yet none of them can agree on anything and none of them can see how similar everything is and so their book has to be the right one (which is how it is the whole world over really)
    i could keep going but i think ill save you from it all and im sure youve thought it all through long and hard anyways coz this is very well presented through your words...

    the last2 lines... about the children dying...
    youd think that would be enough to stop such violence and decay... seeing children killed be it as a member of the army or as an innocent civillian who was just playing in the play ground... thats the bit about this whole thing that breaks me...

    sigh
    | Posted on 2006-08-21 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a powerful write. It certainly sums up the world we live in. It is heartbreaking to see and hear of all the fighting and war in the world today. So many innocent lives are being lost everyday for nothing. I feel for each and every one and every family member who has to live with the loss. I lost my dad in a war so I know first hand just how it feels and how it effects the rest of your life and your family's life. So sad to realize that we, as humans, with all our intelligence and wisdom, cant seem to get along. It seems war will always be a part of our lives in one way or another. Reality sucks doesnt it?? This is very well written and expressed, touching and sad. As always Steve, nice work.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-08-18 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


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