[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: through thick and thindots

    Author: secret kisses
    ASL Info:    22/f/uk
    Elite Ratio:    2.81 - 558/438/138
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 1085
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1268

       just wrote this in bout 2 mins, its only a quicky always room for improvement and suggestions,
    ta kyrenia

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthrough thick and thindots

    i used to be uncontrolable/
    but that was before i met you/
    now im more laid back/
    cos i talked about all the things that i had went through/
    used to cry/
    nearly every night/
    but then you hugged me/
    and said everything will be alright./
    i cant ever see me/
    without you by my side/
    i live, breath and love you/
    every day and all night/

    so i just wanna say thankyou/
    for sticking by me through thick and thin/
    without u i wouldnt know where to begin./
    u have released me from all the hurt inside/
    and answered all the questions in my mind/

    i love the way that you/
    always make me smile/
    even if it only lasts/
    for a short while/
    u say its cute/
    when i get mad/
    but u only say it/
    to make me laugh/
    and you comfort me/
    when im feeling low/
    and you do it/
    in all the ways ever known/

    so i just wanna say thankyou/
    for sticking by me through thick and thin/
    without u i wouldnt know where to begin./
    u have released me from all the hurt inside/
    and answered all the questions in my mind/

    Submitted on 2006-07-29 15:27:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      it's really pretty. i like the rhyming scheme in the first verse and chorus. it sounds like you're trying too hard to rhyme in the 2nd verse. but overall i like it. keep them comin!
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by MizBeeHaveN | [ Reply to This ]
      A lovely testament to I presume, a very special person in your life. Well structured and expressed, I enjoyed reading it.

    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      this one is going on my fave lists. the chorus was really good. and i could definitely relate to this. especially about the whole comforting girls why they're crying thing. cuz yesterday my girl scratched my car while she was backing out in her car and she started going crazy and crying and what not. and all i could do was tell her it was gonna be ok. the MizBeeHaven has a point. the first stanza was a lot better than the second one. keep it up
    | Posted on 2006-08-04 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Linger written by saartha
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    AI written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]