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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: through thick and thindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: secret kisses
    ASL Info:    22/f/uk
    Elite Ratio:    2.81 - 558/438/138
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 1045
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1268



    Description:
       just wrote this in bout 2 mins, its only a quicky always room for improvement and suggestions,
    ta kyrenia


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthrough thick and thindots
    -------------------------------------------


    i used to be uncontrolable/
    but that was before i met you/
    now im more laid back/
    cos i talked about all the things that i had went through/
    used to cry/
    nearly every night/
    but then you hugged me/
    and said everything will be alright./
    i cant ever see me/
    without you by my side/
    i live, breath and love you/
    every day and all night/

    so i just wanna say thankyou/
    for sticking by me through thick and thin/
    without u i wouldnt know where to begin./
    u have released me from all the hurt inside/
    and answered all the questions in my mind/

    i love the way that you/
    always make me smile/
    even if it only lasts/
    for a short while/
    u say its cute/
    when i get mad/
    but u only say it/
    to make me laugh/
    and you comfort me/
    when im feeling low/
    and you do it/
    in all the ways ever known/

    so i just wanna say thankyou/
    for sticking by me through thick and thin/
    without u i wouldnt know where to begin./
    u have released me from all the hurt inside/
    and answered all the questions in my mind/







    Submitted on 2006-07-29 15:27:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      it's really pretty. i like the rhyming scheme in the first verse and chorus. it sounds like you're trying too hard to rhyme in the 2nd verse. but overall i like it. keep them comin!
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by MizBeeHaveN | [ Reply to This ]
      A lovely testament to I presume, a very special person in your life. Well structured and expressed, I enjoyed reading it.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      this one is going on my fave lists. the chorus was really good. and i could definitely relate to this. especially about the whole comforting girls why they're crying thing. cuz yesterday my girl scratched my car while she was backing out in her car and she started going crazy and crying and what not. and all i could do was tell her it was gonna be ok. the MizBeeHaven has a point. the first stanza was a lot better than the second one. keep it up
    | Posted on 2006-08-04 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]


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