Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Downdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Restless_Heart
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 44/35/16
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 952
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 938



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDowndots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hate it,
    All of this fucked up shit,
    You say you love me,
    But it seems like your just leading me down,
    I can't understand,
    Half of whats going on,
    Because you never say whats on your mind,
    Claiming you want,
    Just to kiss me,
    Then letting the world know,
    How much you love someone else,
    Playing with me,
    Like some sort of a rag doll,
    Throwing me around,
    Pulling me apart
    Forgetting the most important part,
    You aren't the only one with feeling in her heart,
    No matter how much I cannot feel,
    It hurts so much when you kill me,
    Over and over,
    Not knowing,
    Whether or not to be ashamed,
    By all the things,
    I'll never say,
    No matter how much,
    I refuse to cry,
    Cause I wish not to see the pleasure,
    In your face.






    Submitted on 2006-07-29 23:44:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was very well written. But I would go back and try to make the lines even, ya know give it a little structure. I liked the topic this is on. I've been down that road. I had a girlfriend who played with me like I was nothing of importance, like I had no feelings... Its sickening if you ask me. How could someone be that way? I'm sorry for the hurt, pain, sorrow, etc... You feel, I all to well know the same. Great poem, keep up the awesome work..

    Sweet Blood Vampire
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by SweetX_XBlood | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    112665

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry