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    dots Submission Name: The Only Good One Is a Dead Onedots

    Author: azure_warrior
    ASL Info:    42 /m/ in my mind.
    Elite Ratio:    5.43 - 44/43/32
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 790
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 414

       A fly got in my house and my cat who is related to lions and tigers who are the king of the jungle couldn't even bother with trying to kill it.
    So, it was up to me. LOL.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Only Good One Is a Dead Onedots

    With lightening speed you dared to go 'round,
    I tried to smash you dead.

    As if you knew of my killing plan,
    You eluded me time and again.

    You dared to get close to my lethal weapon.
    You stopped on and ran from my plan.

    Stop flying, little fly, so I can still you...
    Here's some yummy food.........!


    Submitted on 2006-07-30 02:49:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      lmbo are you serious?! o wow. it would have never crossed my mind to write something like this. very common and yet creative... I like it and I have to give you extra props just for doing something that I would never have even thought of. But I have to say.. I think flies might acutally know thier fate.... otherwise they wouldn't be so difficult >_<

    | Posted on 2006-08-06 00:00:00 | by dead,yetalive | [ Reply to This ]
      Very Funny
    I really like how you took a commen household act like trying to rid your house of a fly and really made a creative very well flowing write
    Great Job
    I for one very much enjoy simple basic poetry and you have done that with this one and then some
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2006-08-05 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay. That made me laugh. A lot... HAHAHAHAHA. I'm sorry. It was just....soo...funny.

    I <3 the title.

    "You dared to get close to my lethal weapon.
    You stopped on and ran from my plan."

    That was my favorite part. I can just picture someone with a fly swatter(sp?) crouching down over a bug. So funny, I just about died.

    "Me waiting to cause your demise."

    That was the only line I didn't like. I just think its little too.... hmmm.... straightforward? Is that the word I'm looking for? I just felt like pointing that out.

    Anyway, great poem. It brightened my day.
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by Jazzy | [ Reply to This ]

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