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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cancerous Demisedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DeepDreamer2008
    ASL Info:    17/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    6.89 - 714/497/55
    Words: 352
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 2077
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2581



    Description:
       Cancer: A deadly disease that has so far taken the lives of millions and affected the lives of more.

    Demise: a)Death.
    b)The end of existence or activity; termination.

    This poem is a dedication to everyone who's lives have been taken or affected by cancer. I am sorry that I have nothing more than words to give.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCancerous Demisedots
    -------------------------------------------


    “After a long, courageous battle” he said
    Standing there in black and white thread
    And there you were beneath him, dead

    Doesn’t anybody realise
    Cancer led to your demise




    As if you might now be alright
    If only you had won the fight
    As if you lacked the will or might

    To resist what in your future lies
    Cancer led to your demise




    I know what no one understands
    Life and death aren’t in our hands
    We all die when the Lord commands

    Few humans know their minute size
    Cancer led to your demise




    It isn’t an enemy, it’s a disease
    It’s deaf to all your useless pleas
    No struggle will cause it to cease

    All you can do is wipe your eyes
    Cancer led to your demise




    You weren’t the first, you won’t be last
    With cancer's dark spell to be cast
    And now your suffering’s in the past

    But to that past I’ll fondly rise
    Cancer led to your demise




    So many lives, so many years
    Lost in gloomy, cancerous tears
    Humans engrossed in their fears

    I refuse to let you hear my cries
    Cancer led to your demise




    If it would kill you, then you’d die
    Regardless of how much I’d cry
    I’d rather you laughed life goodbye

    And being you, you did what’s wise
    Cancer led to your demise




    Even those who show their grief
    Who’s agony was far from brief
    And to whom death came as a relief

    It’s always hard when a loved one dies
    Cancer led to your demise




    So in your name, my hands I raise
    And offer to existence my praise
    For no life lived can death erase

    To all who’ve seen it’s tears and sighs
    Cancer shan’t lead to your demise



    31/07/06




    Submitted on 2006-07-30 13:08:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This a thoughtful and heart-stirring poem about a very difficult subject, cancer one of the random monsters of daily existence, if nothing else ever gets you, it will be cancer eventually.

    I wonder about all the poets who can write about cancer. There ought to be a book of them maybe, some research institute could sell it.
    | Posted on 2008-02-21 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks for the post! I echo all the comments. My dad died of cancer almost 9 years ago. He fought hard and had remission twice... but in the end cancer took his life. I wrote about the aftermath in my poem "socks" check it out if you would like.
    | Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by ashik | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an amazing piece, DeepDreamer. It flows well and your vocabulary is outstanding. I'm glad you wrote this piece. My uncle died from cancer about a year ago. The event was so tragic. I will never forget that day.
    DeepDreamer, this piece not only means so much to me but it means so much to the people out there that are suffering from cancer.

    "So in your name, my hands I raise
    And offer to existence my praise
    For no life lived can death erase"

    Lovely...

    -crimson_panda
    | Posted on 2008-02-10 00:00:00 | by crimson_panda | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm,
    Cancer is a reality in all our lives and we all have cancer cells living in us but for most part they lay dorment .
    I for one have seen it first hand and refuse to let it take me to a place dark and gloomy.
    Life is lived one day at a time and that is how we should live it. We are not seers of the future so why try to see something that is not fathomable.
    Cancer is one of the most feared words in the world and has not mercy for anyone. We are the keepers of the crypt so to speak because we could either choose to embrace death or choose to fight it. Death comes to all regardless of what kills us.
    I find that most people have had contact with someone who has had or knows of someone who has cancer. Wide affecting it seems to be.

    A comment above speaks about a lady that has beaten cancer many times and yet chooses to live life not to the liking of her children but I ask them this. Would she be any better off living life afraid of dying and spend the rest of her life wishing for death because all she does is wait for it? Live life as if it is the last day and enjoy it.
    My children know me as someone who lives life on my own terms and I enjoy it. It would be almost a crime to live it worrying about if I was going to live another day. Death will come to us all but we should never wait for it to take us.
    If the dark angel wants me then he will have to work for it and I will not give him the satisfaction of making me dread his coming because I will not be waiting for his knock. He better knock down the door and take me while I am smoking my cig and having my drink.

    I am not saying that all people should see life like this because cancer does effect the loved ones who watch while it slowly takes their friends or family members.. Incidious as it is there is a beginning and end. We just have to choose between letting it consume our lives and wait for it kill us or we enjoy all of the time we have left.
    My father watched his father die as I watched my father die and it tore us up inside, but my father told me long before he died that he would not allow me to make him feel helpless in his death. He wanted to live as if he had all the time in the world and never regret one minute of his life. He ended up beating cancer only to have his heart give out on him.
    How we live life is the best determination on how we will end life.
    Cancer is killer but it also is something that will make us take stock of our lives and either live our last days in happiness or live our last days waiting to die. I for one will live it with no thoughts of death because I will laugh all the way to my grave.

    This is one of those writes that make people stop and think about the effects of cancer in their lives. We have all been touched by it and will be touched by it for the rest of our lives.

    I have say that you did a very good job here on a subject that is often taboo to most conversations let alone writes because iof its nature. I for one liked it alot.

    Here I am again rambling on and should end this comment.

    So, in short this was outstanding and very thought provoking.

    Nicely Done

    Respect and Admiration'

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2006-09-20 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really beautiful
    This started out as such a sad write and then you showed Great Truth by showing their memory does live on forever on this Earth and their Life will always live forever in Heaven
    Excellent Job with this one
    I so missed reading new writes from you
    Everyone of your writes is always filled with true honest emotion
    That is so rare for most of the poetry here on Elite Skills
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-08-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      my grandmother just died from cancer.

    thank you
    ~jenn

    | Posted on 2006-07-31 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      Cancerous Demise
    -------------------------------------------

    “After a long, courageous battle” he said
    Standing there in black and white thread
    And there you were beneath him, dead

    Doesn’t anybody realise
    Cancer led to your demise



    As if you might now be alright
    If only you had won the fight
    As if you lacked the will or might

    To resist what in your future lies
    Cancer led to your demise



    I know what no one understands
    Life and death aren’t in our hands
    We all die when the Lord commands

    Few humans know their minute size
    Cancer led to your demise



    It isn’t an enemy, it’s a disease
    It’s deaf to all your useless pleas
    No struggle will cause it to cease

    All you can do is wipe your eyes
    Cancer led to your demise



    You weren’t the first, you won’t be last
    (With cancer’s dark spell to be cast)
    And now your suffering’s in the past

    But to that past I’ll fondly rise
    Cancer led to your demise



    So many lives, so many years
    Lost in gloomy, cancerous tears
    Humans engrossed in their fears

    I refuse to let you hear my cries
    Cancer led to your demise



    If it would kill you, then you’d die
    Regardless of how much I’d cry
    I’d rather you laughed life goodbye

    And being you, you did what’s wise
    Cancer led to your demise



    Even those who show their grief
    Who’s agony was far from brief
    And to whom death came as a relief

    It’s always hard when a loved one dies
    Cancer led to your demise



    So in your name, my hands I raise
    And offer to existence my praise
    For no life lived can death erase

    To all who’ve seen it’s tears and sighs
    Cancer shan’t lead to your demise


    I made a slight tweak in an awakward line early in the post, but other than that I find no nits to pick. This is a generally well written post with an interesting use of triplets and couplets as lossely grouped five-line stanzas. Frankly, DD, this is the most mature write you've posted here (that I can remember, at least).

    Nice to see you again after such a long hiatus.
    Take care.
    Bill.


    | Posted on 2006-07-31 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      quite accurate for the people i know with cancer. funnily enough, one of them is a record holder. she has survived the most recsussions of cancer in south australia, but the worst part is that she doesnt enjoy the life she is gifted with, the years she is being graced with, that most other people dont get. she is wasting them, smoking, drinking ad making her children hate her. she has three, and one has already left, and says they are only comming back for her funeral. one of the others is leaving at the end of the year, same story, andthe last is too selfish to even notice when she dies. its pretty sad, huh?

    i only have on probblem with this piece and that is this line:

    If it would kill you, then you’d die

    to me it just states the over obvious. yes if it is a mean one it will kill you, and then you will be dead.

    i am not sure what you could replace it with, but it just doesnt fit.

    keep going. very talented.
    evelyn
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by eowyn | [ Reply to This ]
      This was lovely. It showed much caring to all whom died by cancer's hand. It was a wee bit on the long side, but its poetry and I guess poetry has no limit as to how long it is. The only thing I didn't like was the repetition of,"cancer led to your demise." After a while it got old and annoying. But other than that it was a very fantastic write. Keep up the awesome work..

    Sweet Blood Vampire
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by SweetX_XBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      This was so sad. I must commend you for writing this thoughtful write. As far as I know it, Cancer is one of the most deadly diseases which has affected millions. My mum's friend recently died from cancer. Depressing, yet well written. I am sure there is a cure for the disease, but people have to put a little more thought into it. I really liked the way you carried this out, from the flow and format. I especially liked the idea of repeating: "cancer led to your demise." in this. You painted a gloomy, yet unfortunately true picture with this. Thank you for taking on a topic which will hopefully open some eyes. This is going into my favourites list


    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-08-24 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow
    this was just sad
    very well written though
    seriously start posting more! hehehe
    ok so yea
    this is a great tribute to those who have been hit with this disease, either them or their loved ones and i feel you put the harsh reality in such a way that people who are struggling with it wont feel it to be so harsh .. like i mean not with cancer itself, cuz that would just be morbid but ... argh its hard to explain what i mean .. hehe ... the one thing though...like i understand that putting "Cancer led to your demise" on every "chorus" [i cant think of another word now sorry!] helps emphasize the idea but it also helps to make the poem more depressing than it already is [given the subject and all...] i was thinking, what would it be like if you but it in alternately? im no expert in the type of rhythm you wrote the poem in, but if u left it in one "chorus" and took it out in the other ... ok sorry just went back and looked at if u would do the alternate thing but then the one before the last wouldn't have it then it would kind of take away from the poem .. ok this is getting all to confusing hehe sorry nevermind

    i really did like this poem though .. i cant say i enjoyed it because of the subject, but on the technical side of it, i reallly did like it ... the way you just put everything together, it just flows ...

    okay wow im sorry abt this crappy comment .. i've been reading catcher in the rye and my mind is sort of stuck on that type of language that Salinger used so proper words and phrases aren't coming to me and i keep typing in a very rambling sort of way ... whoops here i go again :( hehehe

    OK the point: I loved it. Good Job. POST MORE!
    hehehe ... i shall reply to ur msg tmw, its getting really late :(
    thank u though, for posting this ... seriously motivates me to get a poem on this site! im out of inspiration :(
    take care, cheers,
    Deeps
    ps. what inspired u to write this?
    | Posted on 2006-07-31 00:00:00 | by DeepsLighter | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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