Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hear medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lolavie
    ASL Info:    23/female/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 70/175/103
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 732
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 221



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHear medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Im not lonely
    but my heart is

    You should know
    just what to give it

    Romance ignored
    It fled from me

    You sing these words
    but dont know what they mean




    Submitted on 2006-07-30 18:32:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is a little short to be lyrics, I think. There copuld be a small tune, and the words have quite a power behind them. I like the message, and it is given well, with a large span of words, and not much cliché going on. I like what you did with this peice.
    Wishing for more
    ~Brian
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      im not ususally big on reading lyrics, because of the size, so this was a sudden shock that it was so short, and yeah, i will agree with everyone else that it is a bit too short.
    in general though you have made a very good start. i would say that what is written here makes a first verse.
    i'll keep my eye out for the rest of the song.
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by eowyn | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the seeming contradiction in "Im not lonely
    but my heart is".

    i also like the second and fourth stanzas.
    but same as the other comment; maybe it could be longer for lyrics. i can see it as a song with a nice melody, though.
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by explosions | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...hm....I'm not sure what to say. Its pretty good. I like the meaning of it and everything but you have it marked as lyrics so I think it could be just a little longer. Plus I like all of it except for the last line. I just feel like you could have used different words. But thats just me. But all together it was a good write. Can't wait to read more of your work.


    T.A.S.
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by spikerz1621 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    112737

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry