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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: fiery whisper
    ASL Info:    21/F/Bangladesh
    Elite Ratio:    5.13 - 51/49/33
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 142
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 336



    Description:
       


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    dotsLifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Whirlpools.
    Sucked me in, spit me clean
    Bounced to a life with a different beginning
    And Im lost
    With all these people chewing at my cost
    Shivering, shattering, biting, this frost
    Then light
    Brings with it, a whole new fight
    A completely different night
    And Im still lost.




    Submitted on 2006-07-31 11:34:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      A very good 'shortie'. Sums everything about one's life pretty well. I found all the people 'chewing' a bit... hardcore... I mean, surely, life is not that bad? Good rhyming. Easy on the eyes. Easy on the ears for those who read aloud. Sounds more to me like 'Lost' than 'Life'. Good write.

    -Saaber Shoyeb
    | Posted on 2007-06-03 00:00:00 | by Saaber | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very good piece, that's exactly how life is the way you described it. When you thin you're on your way and you have your life in order, suddenly something comes out of nowhere and knocks you off track. The trick is to get back on and keep trying, never give up hope and stick with the possitive things in life that will help push you through the hard times. Overall I enjoyed reading this, great job :).

    ~Cris
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by my_worst_fear85 | [ Reply to This ]



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