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    dots Submission Name: A Morning's Whimdots

    Author: little_theif
    ASL Info:    24, female, Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 42/58/26
    Words: 234
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 610
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1573

       There's something I like about this that makes me want to post it everywhere. I really don't know what or why. It's structurally terrible. And the wording is awkward sometimes. But it's a song so oh well. Yes I realize it doesn't have a chorus.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Morning's Whimdots

    You tell me
    It's seven in the morning
    Time to wake up, it's
    Time to wake up
    But you don't know if you can
    And you try anyways
    You try anyways
    You walk outside in your underwear
    Get the paper off the porch before you
    Climb back in bed

    You tell me
    I can't go in to work today
    I'll call in sick, and we can
    Pack up my car
    We'll head off anyway you like
    We'll go
    Far away from here, so
    Far away from here
    And we'll never look back again
    We'll never come back again

    We'll leave the past behind
    We'll leave our lives behind
    Leave everything, everyone
    In our dust
    Find someplace new
    We'll start over again
    Start all over again
    With a new life, new names
    Be someone we don't know
    Someone they never knew

    Maybe someday we'll come back
    When no one remembers our names
    Our face
    When they don't know who we are
    And we'll tell them
    All about the time, we
    Used to be someone else
    How they knew us so very well
    In a life long past
    A long long time ago

    And we'll laugh and joke and speak
    Of all the time we shared
    They'll ask us why we left
    They'll ask us where we've been
    And we'll tell them
    You just couldn't go to work that day

    Submitted on 2006-07-31 19:02:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      um, i think as a poem it is good, but as a song, it sounds like sonthing hillary duff or what eve would sing, kind of lalala-ish. but i do really like it as a poem. sorry to rain on your parade...
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Gwenith Louise | [ Reply to This ]
      There are times everyone wishes they could start all over. I know i have quite often. This is a very good song...and not all songs have a chorus.
    | Posted on 2006-07-31 00:00:00 | by BloodtornAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha ha, I like this piece. It would be so nice just to say "Screw it all, let's hit the road," and go anywhere you want and start over. I don't think that the fact there is no chorus takes away from this, but the wording does get strange in places. Oh, well, I think that if you rearrange some words and maybe rephrase some things it will run a lot smoother! Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2006-07-31 00:00:00 | by black_beauty18 | [ Reply to This ]

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