Description: Some of you may know me as (V)adScythe24. If you truely knew me, you'd know that I have never written poetry...I know this one sucks, but it was what I felt during hard times. I dedicate this to the old ES chat gang. You were all my friends...*tear*
You and Me -------------------------------------------
I was used by you
You were used by me
I was a fool to you
You were a fool to me
I was there for you
You were there for me
I cared for you
You cared for me
I dreamed of you
You dreamed of me
I thought about you
You thought about me
I tried to help you
You tried to help me
I loved you
You loved me
I'm making this quick and simple, this was soooooo good, I'm not a really good person to judge cause I rarely say anything bad about stuff but this truely was great, it's something pretty much everyone can understand and get and quite a joy to read :]
* Constance* -scaredheart-
How come I never noticed this one before? Maybe I'm blind? I do lose my glasses often...Anyway, what you've written is true. It's pretty much perfection, though there's, of course, no such thing. *sigh*
But that's a good thing, b/c, like they say: Perfection would be boring.
Ppl use ppl all the time. That's how inquality was bred. It spread like a disease and now we all have masters and users. And this has NOTHING to do w/ dominatrics. Or how every you spell it.
You've created a mini mastpiece here, and I applaud you from one poet to another.
Wait...I realize why I've never noticed this one...You have 2 accounts and I was always updated w/ that one...duh..
Wuv ya, bro.
-moj-
P.S. Since this is YOUR poem, you don't necessarily need to change a single word...though..."dreamt" DOES flow better than "dreamed" as +Sage+ below stated.
Gosh Que, I wish things were how they were once. But that wouldnt be life then, would it? But maybe I wouldnt mind if it werent life.. Of course, ES was just a fairy tale. A place where everything could be perfect, maybe dramatic sure, but still so much better than reality.
I hate how I had to wake up from such a beautiful dream. Especially when I dont dream while I sleep. I worry about tommarow.
hope to hear from you sometime- and wish you well with the real world.
Hm. I like it. Its beauty is in it's simplicity. For not ever writing poetry, this is like...a gold mine. Seriously. Do you know how much potential you must have to write so eloquently on your FIRST try? Amazing.
Although, in simplicity...you find beauty... I would also have to say, the words are rather common use for a poem. Nothing really blows you away. Okay, that's not true. But you know what I mean, right? The lines of this poem are commonly linked with other poems....it lacks UnIqUeNeSs~
~xoxo~
Sweets
P.S. Don't worry...lots of people have that problem...particularily me, lol... you should write more often.
For this being your first poem you did pretty good.
You expressed your feelings well without going over board and off the subject
the only thing i would change is
Uhm. Well....it follows a pattern..............................................................
And yeah, this is not what I'd call poetry, it's formula.
I don't like it.
...
Love is not use, it's friendship and taking what is given from the others abundance, and giving. Encouraging. Hoping for.
eeek.
the last two lines make me wanna sing Barney...
i think what you have here is sweet, simple and kinda predictable.
what i think would be really cool [and very simple to do] would be to have some random twist at the end.
because you get the reader to expect that the other person is always doing the same thing the writer is doing and so the reader just gets into the pattern and knows what to expect to read next...
somehow i think you should find something really beautiful and SLAM both the reader and the "you" in this piece with it...
knock everyone off guard and bring in something more to this piece.
right now its kinda bland
but the potential is SO there.
i know you wrote it a while ago now so it isnt necessary that you want to revisit this piece but yeah... just a thought
I finally get it now! The first four lines were hatred but the love started to grow stronger. Brilliant, Senshi! BRILLIANT!!! Was it on accident or on purpose? *shrugs* Oh well! Who cares?! I love it! And I love yo-
....
Hmm...I should think before I say anything.
Well, I'm favoriting it and nobody's stopping me!
-Beth
Can't really say a lot about it, since it's so short. But I really like it. And YES YOU CAN write poetry. You just gotta dig those emotions out. Let them go. And no, I don't mean go to the bathroom.
Dont judge your own poetry, Intelligence plagues people with lack of interest, same as imagination, what you see is not what is seen by others, and the way you percieve will never be shared with any other.
It was good in a sense you got what you wanted accross, and bad in a sense of it was constant repitition.
non the less, for it being sumthing you've never really done before, very well done, and keep doing more.
V You know darn well you are a true friend and always will be My God you opened up your Heart to show a little handicapped girl (my sister) that someone besides family cares She still asks how you are doing everytime I talk to her That my Friend is Love and shows just how caring and special of a person you are I must say your poem is beautiful and really makes one think as to what truthfully is important in life And in my case it was reaching out to others and opening up my Heart in that old chat and showing people they always have a Friend in me You V (Enrique I never new your name) Have that same Love and big Heart May God always shine his Love on you as he has so thers may feel the Love you hold inside God Bless Your Friend Ron
Submission Name: You and Me
*huggles* it good. 
