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    dots Submission Name: breathedots

    Author: every48seconds
    ASL Info:    25/M/toronto
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 123/163/129
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 763
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 711


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    Every breath....is wasted on you
    Every second is stolen..so that your life gets better
    Every heartbeat is lost because of you
    Every dream turns into a nightmare with you as its source
    Every footstep is used to futher your life
    Even now as I write this
    And as i plan for my escape
    I think of you
    And on how much I spent on you
    And now as i come to my final breath
    I think if I should use it on you
    And i agree with that
    So that I can say I wasted my life on you
    And while my eyes close
    For the final time
    Thinking that i was loved by at lease you
    You just say "good ridance" and let me die

    Submitted on 2006-08-01 12:06:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow so much raging from within I can see why there are so many comments on here... very nice I like the titled as well i don't think I myself could come up with anything match what you have posted here

    | Posted on 2009-06-30 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my this is good.
    I like how you say that everything you do is for her without actually using that sentence. The end was very intense, as well. I liked it.
    | Posted on 2006-12-23 00:00:00 | by wovenwords | [ Reply to This ]
      You can express very intense emtion through your poems. Very well done and from great depth, within your heart. It is a sad poem, but nicely written!
    | Posted on 2006-08-08 00:00:00 | by Molly Densmore | [ Reply to This ]
      Indeed. Many emotions. One battling himself/herself? Or too in love with one too let go, even if the pain that's being caused is too much. It's a well written poem.

    -- Jason Clement
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Jason_Clement | [ Reply to This ]
      What I get from this is someone who has been used and taken for granted in a relationship is finally waking up to the fact, or subconsciously has known it and the emotional slow simmer has come to a boil. There is pain of betrayal and surprise and resentment but still a wish for reconciliation.
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Silver Scion | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with foreseer. there is a battle of emotions. its like you love her and hate her. you want to be rid of her but you cant get enough.
    I like it. keep it up.

    adam :)
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by luvneverreturnd | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely written, I like the title by the way. There's like a battle of emotions, or that's what it seems to me. It's like there's regret and loss, then anger and then just realization. Good job on the poem.
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Foreseer | [ Reply to This ]

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