[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: breathedots

    Author: every48seconds
    ASL Info:    25/M/toronto
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 123/163/129
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 749
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 711


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Every breath....is wasted on you
    Every second is stolen..so that your life gets better
    Every heartbeat is lost because of you
    Every dream turns into a nightmare with you as its source
    Every footstep is used to futher your life
    Even now as I write this
    And as i plan for my escape
    I think of you
    And on how much I spent on you
    And now as i come to my final breath
    I think if I should use it on you
    And i agree with that
    So that I can say I wasted my life on you
    And while my eyes close
    For the final time
    Thinking that i was loved by at lease you
    You just say "good ridance" and let me die

    Submitted on 2006-08-01 12:06:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow so much raging from within I can see why there are so many comments on here... very nice I like the titled as well i don't think I myself could come up with anything match what you have posted here

    | Posted on 2009-06-30 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my this is good.
    I like how you say that everything you do is for her without actually using that sentence. The end was very intense, as well. I liked it.
    | Posted on 2006-12-23 00:00:00 | by wovenwords | [ Reply to This ]
      You can express very intense emtion through your poems. Very well done and from great depth, within your heart. It is a sad poem, but nicely written!
    | Posted on 2006-08-08 00:00:00 | by Molly Densmore | [ Reply to This ]
      Indeed. Many emotions. One battling himself/herself? Or too in love with one too let go, even if the pain that's being caused is too much. It's a well written poem.

    -- Jason Clement
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Jason_Clement | [ Reply to This ]
      What I get from this is someone who has been used and taken for granted in a relationship is finally waking up to the fact, or subconsciously has known it and the emotional slow simmer has come to a boil. There is pain of betrayal and surprise and resentment but still a wish for reconciliation.
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Silver Scion | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with foreseer. there is a battle of emotions. its like you love her and hate her. you want to be rid of her but you cant get enough.
    I like it. keep it up.

    adam :)
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by luvneverreturnd | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely written, I like the title by the way. There's like a battle of emotions, or that's what it seems to me. It's like there's regret and loss, then anger and then just realization. Good job on the poem.
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Foreseer | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Etiquette written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]