Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: breathedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: every48seconds
    ASL Info:    25/M/toronto
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 123/163/129
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 734
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 711



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbreathedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every breath....is wasted on you
    Every second is stolen..so that your life gets better
    Every heartbeat is lost because of you
    Every dream turns into a nightmare with you as its source
    Every footstep is used to futher your life
    Even now as I write this
    And as i plan for my escape
    I think of you
    And on how much I spent on you
    And now as i come to my final breath
    I think if I should use it on you
    And i agree with that
    So that I can say I wasted my life on you
    And while my eyes close
    For the final time
    Thinking that i was loved by at lease you
    You just say "good ridance" and let me die




    Submitted on 2006-08-01 12:06:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow so much raging from within I can see why there are so many comments on here... very nice I like the titled as well i don't think I myself could come up with anything match what you have posted here

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2009-06-30 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my this is good.
    I like how you say that everything you do is for her without actually using that sentence. The end was very intense, as well. I liked it.
    | Posted on 2006-12-23 00:00:00 | by wovenwords | [ Reply to This ]
      You can express very intense emtion through your poems. Very well done and from great depth, within your heart. It is a sad poem, but nicely written!
    | Posted on 2006-08-08 00:00:00 | by Molly Densmore | [ Reply to This ]
      Indeed. Many emotions. One battling himself/herself? Or too in love with one too let go, even if the pain that's being caused is too much. It's a well written poem.

    -- Jason Clement
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Jason_Clement | [ Reply to This ]
      What I get from this is someone who has been used and taken for granted in a relationship is finally waking up to the fact, or subconsciously has known it and the emotional slow simmer has come to a boil. There is pain of betrayal and surprise and resentment but still a wish for reconciliation.
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Silver Scion | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with foreseer. there is a battle of emotions. its like you love her and hate her. you want to be rid of her but you cant get enough.
    I like it. keep it up.

    adam :)
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by luvneverreturnd | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely written, I like the title by the way. There's like a battle of emotions, or that's what it seems to me. It's like there's regret and loss, then anger and then just realization. Good job on the poem.
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Foreseer | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    112918

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Outlaw
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry