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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: won'tdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mara
    Elite Ratio:    6.38 - 65/74/20
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1148
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 311



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswon'tdots
    -------------------------------------------


    stray flat in your melody
    clatter in the gears

    your eyes make nice windows, but your dreams bore me.
    let me stay here for a while
    bask in your cries
    as i rearrange your life

    from the inside

    you hear me
    i can't hear you




    Submitted on 2006-08-01 17:27:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i wonder
    who you're talking to.
    | Posted on 2006-08-02 00:00:00 | by explosions | [ Reply to This ]
      'Thought's on Mara's Poem'

    And I confide in you
    in broken chords:
    piano-notes

    sing of honeyed longing
    for other worlds;


    the silence of eyes
    begs to know the difference

    between sympathy, pity
    and worry
    I feel for you.

    This is what it made me feel.
    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-08-02 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      An all to common meaness, I'm afraid. A lot of people are too caught up in themselves or in the distractions to be had elsewhere to ever pay attention to the needs of someone else.

    The metaphors are good, something that boils down to you might as well say you don't care.

    Interesting perspective, coming from the direction it does, an opposite to what you usually expect in such a poem. Like talking to a mirror in second person? Interesting...
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


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