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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: just leave for anotherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bbcherry
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 79/34/16
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 1047
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1270



    Description:
       well i guess for the first time ever i wrote a rap that i was able to finish.i know its not good but im proud to say at least i try and finished this time.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsjust leave for anotherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    you ripped my heart out
    and cared for another
    i don't mind but i'll always remember
    the past
    and what you put me through
    and how our lives went seperate and you never gave into
    the pain,
    thoughts of me
    how you once said we were meant to be

    yeah i'll always knew this day would come
    but i thought...
    just give it a day
    give it some time
    to let it run through your mind
    and when you asked me
    see if ya still cared
    or if you even dared to just let go
    move on get another

    yep it was true
    and now we're through
    you've given up
    your mind went corrupt

    and now im all alone
    in this crazy world
    nope theres nothing i can do
    to get through to you
    cause your gone

    time and time again i try
    to get you outta my head
    walking 'round like the undead

    but your stuck there
    i pretend not to care
    and it shows
    on my face
    and through all of my clothes

    i guess we weren't meant to be
    what you said to me
    you'll always be just a memory...




    Submitted on 2006-08-01 21:00:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm. Love always bites. Well. Most of the time. Sometimes, it is not meant to be. And it's good to break up? Who knows. Although, it'd be nice to find that 'one', and just stick with them. Usually, doesn't work that way though.

    Sad world...

    -- Jason Clement
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Jason_Clement | [ Reply to This ]
      well i like this poem a lot haha but one thing for like line 6 id put it a little shorter...like stop between "seperate" and "and". and start from "and" on line 7...but other than that its good!
    | Posted on 2006-08-02 00:00:00 | by butterflygirl27 | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah i like this a lot. when you wrote:

    yeah i'll always knew this day would come
    but i thought...
    just give it a day
    give it some time

    i remembered thinking that a lot, about a lot of people.

    i feel like i connect with it differently. i'm actually not sure what i mean lol. but, almost as if i feel the same way towards people i've loved but not a girlfriend. its strange because i know this was meant to be directed towards a lover, but after i read this i feel i understand what your going through because of various people i've known.

    | Posted on 2006-08-03 00:00:00 | by chottooni | [ Reply to This ]


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