Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

just leave for another

Author: bbcherry
Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 79 /34 /16
Words: 206
Class/Type: Misc /Serious
Total Views: 1091
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1270


well i guess for the first time ever i wrote a rap that i was able to finish.i know its not good but im proud to say at least i try and finished this time.

just leave for another

you ripped my heart out
and cared for another
i don't mind but i'll always remember
the past
and what you put me through
and how our lives went seperate and you never gave into
the pain,
thoughts of me
how you once said we were meant to be

yeah i'll always knew this day would come
but i thought...
just give it a day
give it some time
to let it run through your mind
and when you asked me
see if ya still cared
or if you even dared to just let go
move on get another

yep it was true
and now we're through
you've given up
your mind went corrupt

and now im all alone
in this crazy world
nope theres nothing i can do
to get through to you
cause your gone

time and time again i try
to get you outta my head
walking 'round like the undead

but your stuck there
i pretend not to care
and it shows
on my face
and through all of my clothes

i guess we weren't meant to be
what you said to me
you'll always be just a memory...

Submitted on 2006-08-01 21:00:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Hmmm. Love always bites. Well. Most of the time. Sometimes, it is not meant to be. And it's good to break up? Who knows. Although, it'd be nice to find that 'one', and just stick with them. Usually, doesn't work that way though.

Sad world...

-- Jason Clement
| Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Jason_Clement | [ Reply to This ]
  well i like this poem a lot haha but one thing for like line 6 id put it a little stop between "seperate" and "and". and start from "and" on line 7...but other than that its good!
| Posted on 2006-08-02 00:00:00 | by butterflygirl27 | [ Reply to This ]
  yeah i like this a lot. when you wrote:

yeah i'll always knew this day would come
but i thought...
just give it a day
give it some time

i remembered thinking that a lot, about a lot of people.

i feel like i connect with it differently. i'm actually not sure what i mean lol. but, almost as if i feel the same way towards people i've loved but not a girlfriend. its strange because i know this was meant to be directed towards a lover, but after i read this i feel i understand what your going through because of various people i've known.

| Posted on 2006-08-03 00:00:00 | by chottooni | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?