Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Jinxeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EseanB
    ASL Info:    30/M/TN
    Elite Ratio:    2.38 - 99/138/84
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 815
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 996



    Description:
       Again about the "x-wife".


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJinxeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Another month goes by,
    Oh why oh why,
    How I wish I could fly.

    Another day goes by,
    And I don't lie,
    My "wife" is planned to die.

    Not yet divorced,
    Yet far from true marriage,
    How did I choose this course?

    I lost love for her,
    And found love in somebody else,
    How I want to hear the kitty purr.

    Auto-immune disease is a slow death,
    It targets your body,
    Then eats you alive.

    Can't be cured,
    Can't be slowed,
    It's an unstoppable death.

    I may have fallen out of love,
    I may have been hurt more than I should,
    But why does someone have to die?

    My girls have a chance of inheritance,
    Not money or fame,
    Only this disease and mental disorders.

    What is the point,
    I only wanted happiness,
    But instead I have been dealt sadness.




    Submitted on 2006-08-02 05:22:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      my gosh your poems about your wife are gonna make me cry! it was good but i dind't get the last line in the fourth stanza about a kitty purring....but that's ok. keep writing
    </3 lisa
    | Posted on 2006-08-02 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    113033

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry