sat with my thug friend the "thugdragon"
in south los angeles just yesterday,
played my guitar and thought of this
the idea was such a simple thing
like gelatin, shining, sweet
this is what I said to him
"hey thugdragon, listen to this...
what if since you were born
they've been teaching you your a,b,c's
and it's really only was this riddle to
solve, but you don't see"
"all these generations like x, y, & z
and maybe the end of the world is
when we get to the end of the letters
in the alphabet"
he was astounded
and then he grew frightened when I ended
"and maybe if you solve the riddle it is the answer of mankind, the question mark you always hide, and maybe now I know so I may die"
thugdragon shook his head and said
"that's some weird philosphy"
| "some weird thought written in a hurry", |
that's what you said. And maybe that's the problem. I think the whole alphabet-thingie is really clever, but if you had taken your time to a bit of fine adjustment, it would've been even better. For me, this is a good idea in a very sloppy packet. For example, some capital letters here and there would make a lot, and some punctuation..? Or maybe this is just the way you like your writing, which I don't get but I totally respect and I withdraw - but if it's just care-freeness, then I don't like it at all.
(Maybe it's a bad sign if that was the first thought I got - I've got too much of teacher's qualities in me!)
But the poem itself was, as said, really clever. The "Thugdragon" seemed like a very good character, but I couldn't help but think that he(?) was an acquaintance caused by a joint - very interesting indeed.
Well, anyhow, thank yous for the fascinating idea!
|| Posted on 2006-08-05 00:00:00 | by _taateli_ | [ Reply to This ] || really nice. i like this piece a lot; i think it's really original, and the idea is a new take on life. it has a nice, mellow tone to it, too. i love how you said the a, b, c's were a riddle and the generations of x, y, & z led to the end of the world. honestly, it's thoughts like these that make life so interesting.|
"thugdragon" seems like an intriguing character, and the perfect one for this. yes, i think weird philosophy indeed, but amazing.
by the way, i noticed you like elliott smith - he was brilliant.
|| Posted on 2006-08-03 00:00:00 | by explosions | [ Reply to This ] |