Cold Dark Wasteland Of Eternity -------------------------------------------
The cold dark wasteland of eternity
Stretches before me
Yet I stand on its edge
The splinters of Time stick into our bodies
And slowly we all become victims to its will
I miss things so much that it feels like a hole in my chest
Where I should have a heart
But alas no heart
Just emptiness
And then I look
Look into a mirror
And it's not me looking back
It's bones
No flesh
And I realise this is me
Yet it is everyone
Because in the cold dark wasteland of eternity
Everyone is dead yet everyone lives
Everyone's the same, yet everyone's unique
Everyone stands in the corner with no back to a wall
Because this wasteland
Isn't so dark
And it isn't so cold
Just look out a window and you know that you're there.
I haven't read your works in such a long time, do oyu still remember me? I have to say that my favorite part of this poem was...
"The splinters of Time stick into our bodies And slowly we all become victims to its will I miss things so much that it feels like a hole in my chest Where I should have a heart But alas no heart Just emptiness And then I look Look into a mirror And it's not me looking back It's bones"
The way this was set up added so much to it. Strangely it added drama and some kind of suspense to it. "The splinters of Time" makes me think of memories, and how, if we're not careful, they can take over and corrupt our minds, driving us into a self-inflicted insanity. The way you capitalized time gaze it a formal feeling as well, as if it's something extremely definite, which it is, and something we can never stop. Over-all, nice write, and I hope to see more.
That is one of the best things I've ever read. The descriptions are wonderful and it gave me a kind of sad, hollow feeling. I always say that you know its good if it makes you feel something. Sorry I can only give you compliments and no constructive criticism, but I love this as it is, and I wouldnt change anything. You have a lot of talent, and it shows through every word. Thats awesome
LOL, I'm sorry man usually I go for this type of thing, but the title/first line is literall ripped out of an Anne Rice novel, and the rest reads like a rip off of it's desription
Scary, isn't it, but ya gotta do it. Getting older is the easiest thing because you have only one option. Growing into an adult takes a little more work. You'll always have at least two paths, and they will begin with: If I do this, this happens--if I do that, that happens. Make the right choice. See, I made it simple. Great write and good luck.
Submission Name: Cold Dark Wasteland Of Eternity
