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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cold Dark Wasteland Of Eternitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: irvine_valentin
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 43/74/15
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 989
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 905



    Description:
       It just came to me is all I can say


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCold Dark Wasteland Of Eternitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The cold dark wasteland of eternity
    Stretches before me
    Yet I stand on its edge
    The splinters of Time stick into our bodies
    And slowly we all become victims to its will
    I miss things so much that it feels like a hole in my chest
    Where I should have a heart
    But alas no heart
    Just emptiness
    And then I look
    Look into a mirror
    And it's not me looking back
    It's bones
    No flesh
    And I realise this is me
    Yet it is everyone
    Because in the cold dark wasteland of eternity
    Everyone is dead yet everyone lives
    Everyone's the same, yet everyone's unique
    Everyone stands in the corner with no back to a wall
    Because this wasteland
    Isn't so dark
    And it isn't so cold
    Just look out a window and you know that you're there.




    Submitted on 2006-08-03 18:05:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I haven't read your works in such a long time, do oyu still remember me?
    I have to say that my favorite part of this poem was...

    "The splinters of Time stick into our bodies
    And slowly we all become victims to its will
    I miss things so much that it feels like a hole in my chest
    Where I should have a heart
    But alas no heart
    Just emptiness
    And then I look
    Look into a mirror
    And it's not me looking back
    It's bones"

    The way this was set up added so much to it. Strangely it added drama and some kind of suspense to it. "The splinters of Time" makes me think of memories, and how, if we're not careful, they can take over and corrupt our minds, driving us into a self-inflicted insanity. The way you capitalized time gaze it a formal feeling as well, as if it's something extremely definite, which it is, and something we can never stop.
    Over-all, nice write, and I hope to see more.

    *tox*
    | Posted on 2006-12-03 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      That is one of the best things I've ever read.
    The descriptions are wonderful and it gave me a kind of sad, hollow feeling.
    I always say that you know its good if it makes you feel something.
    Sorry I can only give you compliments and no constructive criticism, but I love this as it is, and I wouldnt change anything.
    You have a lot of talent, and it shows through every word.
    Thats awesome

    Wonderfully done
    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-09-02 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      LOL, I'm sorry man usually I go for this type of thing, but the title/first line is literall ripped out of an Anne Rice novel, and the rest reads like a rip off of it's desription
    | Posted on 2006-09-04 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Scary, isn't it, but ya gotta do it. Getting older is the easiest thing because you have only one option. Growing into an adult takes a little more work. You'll always have at least two paths, and they will begin with: If I do this, this happens--if I do that, that happens. Make the right choice. See, I made it simple. Great write and good luck.
    | Posted on 2006-08-03 00:00:00 | by coyote | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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