Description: Quite Dark lyrics i made. I still have not found the right way for notes but i think someday i will ;) There might be ( and will be ) some grammar and spelling mistakes since english aint my primary lang but please - dont stick to them too hard. And i think i can not type this since somehow i get different feeling from this one every time i read it.
Black Rose -------------------------------------------
[Girl] One like no other
[Whisper] Black in its hide
[Girl] Cold as winter
[Whisper] True gold inside
[Girl] Casting its shadow
[Whisper] In the meadow
[Girl] Among all the others
[Whisper] Red for passion, White for memory
[Girl] But still i recall
[Whisper] I love the black
[Girl] The best of all
[Girl] I might forget
[Girl] All the rest
[Girl] And open myself
[whisper] To the dark jest
[Girl] Why It's the dark
[Girl] That pulls me so
[Whisper] Fading summers mark
[Whisper] It reminds you of me
[Whisper] Dancing and drinking
[Whisper] So fierce, so free
[Girl] And now I'm thinking
[Girl] Is this, the shadow
[Girl] The ghost of a rose?
I love this. Very original. The way the girl and whisper say different, yet complete things that manage to intertwine perfectly is amazing. I ended up reading it twice to get the full effect.
The wording is very pretty also.
There's nothing to critique, so I suppose I'll be on my way now.
(Oh, by the way, how's Finland? It's always interested me, but you know... I can't just walk there...)
this is very good! i really liked it but i wish it were longer. the way you alternate between a girl and whisper gives it a very haunting, eerie feel. very well done! thanks for the read!
first up... is there any truth to the story i have been spreading round that donald duck was banned in finland coz he didnt wear pants..? sorry... i had to ask someone...
ok... so... about the song... i think this would sound really interesting when performed... it has a phantom of the opera type feel for me... perhaps its the girl/whisper contrast... i dont know...
i really enjoyed the way that the girls song is complete and the whispers song is complete and then together they create something even more... its hard to make something like that work but i really think you have achieved that here...
i think that its interesting how the girl and the whisper seem to be going in different directions but complimenting eachother at the same time... part of me feels like the whisper is infact she just a different side of her (but then i have just finished watching the beautiful mind so yeah...)
the only thing i would think of changing is
Whisper] It reminds you of me i would take out the "it" i think the idea would flow smoothly and nothing would be lost... fading summers mark reminds you of me