Very thought-provoking poem! I liked it. Do we ever really even know ourselves let along forgive ourselves? I guess it's a lifelong struggle to find our way in this crazy world. The fact that we like to write poetry makes us different, but that's not a bad thing when the poetry shows quality in its thought as this one does. :-) Sharon
This was really well written. I like that it can be anyone who is looking at theirself. You never tell what that 'sin' is and I like that. It can be what ever sin is happing with you at the moment and it might be easy for people to relate. Good work.
This was a beautiful write and I can see why it's your *featured* one, it was extremely well written and I can defiatly relate. far too many people worry about fitting in ....and most of the time then ones that DON'T worry about fitting in make it too much of an effort not to fit in and it's all very ironic and ammusing to watch but at times very sad. I really can't think of anything I would change about this write, it was beautiful, very original and extremely well said, nearly perfect as is. (and I rarely rarely ever say anything is even nearly perfect, so feel honored k?) peace && luv, ~jess
"She stares at the girl with tears on her chin crying out loud because she knows they are kin" threw me off for a little bit, because then I thought they were sisters. But it's raining and my mind is dormant. It's fairly good.
Really well written, I loved it. It was great. It wasn't too long, it wasn't too short. It got me pumpin' and it was really awesome. So many people go through that same feeling, so many. I know I have.
It was great, I liked it, and I hope to see more of your work.
VERY well-written and well-rhymed. I would suggest changing "what have i been" to 'where'; and "now she has no more hope left" to 'no hope left'. It helps the ending flow better. Overall, I think you did a great job and im going to 'stalk' you if you dont mind.
I thought that ths was well written, well rhymed(even though in some spots you used lose rymes, but it still worked), and well expressed. I think that you are trying to portray a person who has been converted from what she was to something that society wants. I think that most people have gone down that road of being changed into something else. If I am on the totally wrong track for what this poem is about, PM me and I will reread it and try to find the real meaning behind it. Very original idea though. Keep Writing. ~Caotic~