Description: This is a one minute poem dedicated to Sian.
Not very refined but I wrote it on the spot for her.
My love -------------------------------------------
I saw your face through a plastic window, yet it spoke a world to me
Within, my heart was fluttering, and I had a yearning for thee
You spake so true upon the screen and bared a mind so pure
Beneath the furore of hatred which you used to keep wolves from the door.
I saw you with these eyes I saw what no one without soul could see
And felt within my soul that you were perfect, perfect but for me
And so I set my hammer down and gave the life I scorned a chance
To witness the wonder I found on the wind, and I asked you if you would take my hand
To my surprise and my delight you felt in your heart a twin to my burning
A passion that consumed you as the fire consumed my soul
And a love that rose above to match my own
I found an angel upon the streams
I captured perfection with a net of love
And held her close and kept her near
For as my angel, my life, my love,
You must never disappear...
It's very good to be done in such a short time. Brilliant. Well, if you ever want to refine it, well, one thing I noticed was that the diction was not consistent and the phrasing was not consistent with the era of the diction. Well, it would take a while to unify everything. Currently, this is a very good poem.
For thinking of this on the spot this is really good. The flow is pretty much good and the wording is great. I can feel the love in this poem and i wouldnt really change anything. You have like one spelling mistake i think other wise its great. sry im in a rush to get to work or id leave a better comment.