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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pretty Littledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mordrelaballe
    ASL Info:    18/f/MA, USA
    Elite Ratio:    7.68 - 26/13/8
    Words: 55
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1083
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 376



    Description:
       well, I was feeling ugly, and was going to give in and write a self-loathing piece of crap, but at an impulse I changed it to this odd, almost funny piece of crap. sorry, it's not really worth posting, but hell, here it is.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPretty Littledots
    -------------------------------------------


    pretty little princess
    in a pretty gown
    pretty little whore
    getting all 'round town

    lovely lolita
    tempting all the men
    you let them prey upon you
    like the fox upon the hen

    slutty little siren
    flashing skin for fee
    if they buy you a drink or two
    you'll flash it all for free




    Submitted on 2006-08-05 23:38:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Interesting subject matter. Interesting composition too. I like the length and the clarity. I think over all, it just works. I like it well enough and it is beautifuly satyrical. Nice

    keep it up.

    peace,
    | Posted on 2006-08-08 00:00:00 | by forestspirit | [ Reply to This ]
      cute. i kinda liked this one. it was different, but familiar at the same time. whats "lolita" though? is that the name of someone? n e wa, i liked the words you used. not common, tho known by most. good write. sometiems youve gotta write those self loathing pieces too tho. id say you turned this one around. ~Nichole
    | Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by butterfly_chi5 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm.. this did make me laugh in a way. But I didn't really find it funny. It was idd and interesting anough though, and I did like it, especially the first stanza. After that it just seemed weird to me. But then again alot of things are weird to me, so please don't take that in offense. I don't really know what to say other than it was out there and I liked it. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading.

    Sweet Blood Vampire
    | Posted on 2006-08-06 00:00:00 | by SweetX_XBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting poem you wrote. It's funny too and the perfect length. I like how it's written and the usage of metaphors. Peace
    Katana
    | Posted on 2006-08-06 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      This was funny, short enought not to be tasteless, but long enough to be interesting. Definately describes a LOT of people out there. Haha. Good little piece...
    | Posted on 2006-08-06 00:00:00 | by Scribbles1338 | [ Reply to This ]


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