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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Destruction of the Clear Minddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 855
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 644



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Destruction of the Clear Minddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Many tunnels which to choose,
    so much evidence serves as proof,
    Million thoughts wrapped around loose,
    Which will win and which will lose,
    so many lies and so many truths,
    Like a detective picking up clues,
    but in your mind you can't conclude,
    so many obstructions so little room,
    should we believe what they tell us to,
    or should we explore and find out,
    can we really be secure without a shadow of a doubt,
    When we fight a war inside ourselves,
    in this turmoil of a life,
    and thats how things come about,
    the destruction of the clear mind.




    Submitted on 2006-08-06 11:34:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      
    Brilliant! You expressed just what I had been feeling a few years back, and oh so eloquently.

    I had come to the conclusion that though you can't take for granted everything you see around you, some things really are true and it would be inefficient and time consuming to try and rediscover them for yourself. Tell me what you think...


    What I really like is the poem is very clear and easy to understand, despite dealing with an abstract concept.I can comprehend the whole poem.

    If I had written the poem I would have lengthened the analogy comparing tunnels with choices. Like the tunnel stinks with despair and lost opportunities etc.

    The poem sounds a bit clichéd though, and not that original... as this kind of thought has been repeated before... um ignore me, just express youself freely!

    Cheers!
    | Posted on 2006-08-06 00:00:00 | by albery rinash | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written well, I liked it alot. It mkaes me think. The wording was great, the flow and structure as well. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading..

    Sweet Blood Vampire
    | Posted on 2006-08-06 00:00:00 | by SweetX_XBlood | [ Reply to This ]


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