Passing Through
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Description:
Dont even say this poem dosent have enough emotion or its too short b/c it has plenty of emotion and I took time on it. If you dont like it fuck you. lol if you do coment it and tell me wut you thought:) ps. ignore the few spellin errors i no of them
Passing Through
I think I'll just lay here. Ignoring tears of imperfection as they fall from my tainted eyes. But as I lay immoble, seperate from everything else. A smile crosses my beaten face, and in that moment, all the pain went away. All the memories of my past life dissapeard and I was free. My soul passed into another world, as my broken bones desintigrated into the ground and my flesh was picked at by ravens. I was on a ride to a better place, Hell. |
Submitted on 2006-08-07 11:56:29 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| A poem is never too short or too emotionless. I think it's great just the way it is. It's very interesting, the good way, it makes you wonder. Especially the last line. I was on another ride to a better place, Hell. Really makes you wonder about your own life. Anyway good job on the piece. | Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by Foreseer | [ Reply to This ] | Though it is indeed short, I think it works. It's just enough to capture the reader and get a very deep point across. | The end especially was interesting to me. "I was on a ride to a better place, Hell." I liked that especially. | Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by apassionatemoo | [ Reply to This ] | well jjust to tell you it has alot of emotion and its not too short i actually liked it alot really | you can really understand it because it has a litte bit of bluntness. "I think I'll just lay here. Ignoring tears of imperfection as they fall from my tainted eyes. But as I lay immoble, seperate from everything else. A smile crosses my beaten face" i raelly like the beginning it kind of puts you in the mode of the poem. kool write Fana | Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ] | |
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