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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Passing Throughdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mr. Creep
    ASL Info:    16. Female. Here
    Elite Ratio:    1.97 - 96/177/112
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 949
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 513



    Description:
       Dont even say this poem dosent have enough emotion or its too short b/c it has plenty of emotion and I took time on it. If you dont like it fuck you. lol if you do coment it and tell me wut you thought:) ps. ignore the few spellin errors i no of them


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPassing Throughdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I think I'll just lay here.
    Ignoring tears of imperfection as they fall from my tainted eyes.
    But as I lay immoble, seperate from everything else.
    A smile crosses my beaten face,
    and in that moment, all the pain went away.
    All the memories of my past life dissapeard
    and I was free.
    My soul passed into another world,
    as my broken bones desintigrated into the ground and my flesh was picked at by ravens.
    I was on a ride to a better place, Hell.




    Submitted on 2006-08-07 11:56:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      A poem is never too short or too emotionless. I think it's great just the way it is. It's very interesting, the good way, it makes you wonder. Especially the last line.

    I was on another ride to a better place, Hell.

    Really makes you wonder about your own life. Anyway good job on the piece.
    | Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by Foreseer | [ Reply to This ]
      Though it is indeed short, I think it works. It's just enough to capture the reader and get a very deep point across.

    The end especially was interesting to me.
    "I was on a ride to a better place, Hell."
    I liked that especially.
    | Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by apassionatemoo | [ Reply to This ]
      well jjust to tell you it has alot of emotion and its not too short i actually liked it alot really

    you can really understand it because it has a litte bit of bluntness.

    "I think I'll just lay here.
    Ignoring tears of imperfection as they fall from my tainted eyes.
    But as I lay immoble, seperate from everything else.
    A smile crosses my beaten face"

    i raelly like the beginning it kind of puts you in the mode of the poem.


    kool write

    Fana
    | Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]


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