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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Peter "Switchblade"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    18/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.66 - 314/347/92
    Words: 426
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 113
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2509



    Description:
       


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    dotsPeter "Switchblade"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the corner of the old neighborhood I seen the man,
    With the swagger that the gangsters have in their way to walk.
    His hands were always deep in the pockets of his suit of suede,
    So no one knows in which of them he has the blade.
    He wears a wide brim hat tipped sideway,
    and running shoes so if any problems quickly run away.
    Black shades so no one knows what he is watching,
    and a golden tooth which no matter what always looks shiny.
    About three blocks from that corner there was a woman,
    she is pacing the whole sidewalk for a fifth time.
    She has a bottle and takes a drink to try to forget,
    that the day is weak and there are no clients which to serve.
    A car passes slowly around the avenue,
    it has no marks but everyone knows its a trooper.
    Peter "switchblade" his hands always inside the suit,
    looks and smiles and his golden tooth again shines.
    While he walks he takes a glance from corner to corner,
    not a soul outside on the streets just like a desert.
    But all of the sudden that women comes out the bar,
    and Peter makes a fist inside his suit.
    He looks to one side and then another nobody is there,
    and to the races but without noise crosses the street.
    During this time on the other side the woman walks,
    storming around because she made no money to buy food.
    While she walks she takes out of her pocket a revolver,
    and she puts it in her purse so it doesn't bother.
    A .38 of those old ones the special kind,
    just to keep her safe in case something bad.
    Peter with the blade in hand jumps on her,
    The golden tooth was just lighting the whole avenue.
    While he was smiling the blade just sinking inside her skin,
    when all of a sudden there was a sound like a cannon.
    Poor Peter fell to the floor while he was looking at that woman,
    with a revolver in hand and deadly injured to him she whispered.
    "Me thinking its not my day, how unlucky am I?
    but Peter yours is even worse, you lost it all".
    Believe me people even with the noise no one came out,
    Not a curious person, no one interested, nobody cried.
    Only a drunk guy came across almost fell,
    took the revolver, the blade, and two dollars and left singing the lines to the song.
    "Life gives you surprises, surprises life gives you"




    Submitted on 2006-08-07 20:50:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      this was a very visual, enjoyable story.. it was written excellantly. it also had the subtle charm of having a point to it.. about life being a surprise.. very nice.
    | Posted on 2006-12-24 00:00:00 | by Pprophet | [ Reply to This ]
      good write, man. vivid. real. i especially liked all that stuff about the car that everyone knows is a trooper. it's the kind of thing that lets me know that YOU know what the heck you're talkin about. also liked the subtle rhyme there in some of the begining lines. good write. keep it up.

    nick
    | Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by reluctant_hero | [ Reply to This ]



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