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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Loving the darkdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Doom_Hammer
    ASL Info:    17/m/canada
    Elite Ratio:    1.06 - 36/41/20
    Words: 241
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Gothic
    Total Views: 1738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1666



    Description:
       i wrote this for my friend


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLoving the darkdots
    -------------------------------------------


    with just one look
    the world turned black
    and your luminous gaze
    focused on me
    the world is gone
    or i just can't see it
    standing alone in the dark

    (b)
    i hear you coming
    like a hunter
    in the shadows
    to strike out my loneliness
    entering a world
    that's only you and i
    all the rest is darkness
    to the eyes


    oh how the dark brings
    feelings into view
    i just can't get over how you
    bring me here and now
    i'm loving the dark
    around you and i

    with one touch
    you brought me
    to my knees
    and only then did i ever
    want to please
    with this morbid mind
    from dark passing time

    (b)
    the hands that
    wake my senses
    reach into my heart
    pulling at the darkness
    that's tearing at my mind
    leaving the feeling
    that dark is good


    oh how the dark brings
    feelings into view
    i just can't get over how you
    bring me here and now
    i'm loving the dark
    around you and i

    take me to
    your secret land
    dont leave me here
    where i can't stand
    let me see what hides inside
    your precious heart
    to which i now thrive


    loving the dark
    loving the dark
    sweet dark
    our dark
    this dark
    loving the dark

    loving the dark -kari villa
    :kari villa
    date:July 27, 2006, 03:51:am




    Submitted on 2006-08-07 22:23:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice one I love your work man you have too get an album out so I can buy it and isten to these songs.

    FreeBird
    | Posted on 2006-09-30 00:00:00 | by FreeBird | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, I'm gonna be a complete dickwad and go over this with a spellchecking comb... since you said you didn't have one on your computer lol...

    with just one look
    the world turned black
    and your luminous gaze
    focused on me
    the world is gone
    or i just can't see it
    standing alone in the dark

    (b)
    i hear you coming
    like a hunter
    in the shadows
    to strike out my loneliness
    entering a world
    that's only you and i
    all the rest is darkness
    to the eyes


    oh how the dark brings
    feelings into view
    i just can't get over how you
    bring me here and now
    i'm loving the dark
    around you and i

    with one touch
    you brought me
    to my knees
    and only then did i ever
    want to please
    with this morbid mind
    from dark passing time

    (b)
    the hands that
    wake my senses
    reach into my heart
    pulling at the darkness
    that's tearing at my mind
    leaving the feeling
    that dark is good


    oh how the dark brings
    feelings into view
    i just can't get over how you
    bring me here and now
    i'm loving the dark
    around you and i

    take me to
    your secret land
    dont leave me here
    where i can't stand
    let me see what hides inside
    your precious heart
    to which i now thrive

    loving the dark
    loving the dark
    sweet dark
    our dark
    this dark
    loving the dark


    There... better? As for the lyrics, I sorta imagine this to be metal-like but in a melodic way... I won't name bands because there are so many out there... but this has a good flow to it which is obvious... and which is great to put music to because of this.

    Anyways, hope this helps dude... and you know what would be good? If you could paste a link in your description to this song if you've recorded it and have it up somewhere... like myspace for example.

    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-08-08 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    113574

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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