[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Walk Between Classesdots

    Author: azure_warrior
    ASL Info:    42 /m/ in my mind.
    Elite Ratio:    5.43 - 44/43/32
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1095
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 577

       A pleasant interlude...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Walk Between Classesdots

    flurry of dry leaves
    on the September ground.

    my thoughts lift with the wind
    propelled, falling, crunch,
    little puddles, tiny branches,
    football weather.

    Smell the lush field!
    of summer past.

    Little bits hit my face
    leaving their tiny stings.

    Half-leaves, bits flying,
    broken stems,
    acorns in muddy grass.

    Ground nuts
    that the Natives
    used to eat.

    Nature is dying,
    but I feel so alive.

    Submitted on 2006-08-07 22:42:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    I was a little hesitant to comment on this piece...Mabye because i was trying to understand it in depth and thought that i missed a few parts of your piece. i don't know why it happened...i usually just go ahead with whatever is on my mind....Still i overcame it and here i am writing.

    What inspired me to read this piece was the title....i found it to be very interesting and wondered why no one would be interested in such a title. I don't know...there are many reasons for it.

    About the piece itself, to be honest the beginning had me a little confused...Maybe it's because i am not too fond of nature's description and it's true meaning. So i guess i kinda freaked out with that part...But i think i got the ending really well.

    I was thinking more about technology and our way of living right now...It's actually destroying what nature does for us...We pollute it, we exploit it, we ignore it, we do so many things to it and we don't realize it...The fact is nature is dying but we don't realize that because we feel so alive.

    Anyhow, it might just be a problem with me but i wasn't really feeling much in the beginning and i really couldn't picture much in my mind although you were descriptive. I still think it's a great piece worth reading.

    Hope all is well with you and take care...
    | Posted on 2006-08-08 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]