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    dots Submission Name: You Seedots

    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/623/381
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 621
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 783

       mmm I wrote this for an ex that I just did not desver to be with. A lot was going on in my life and dating wasn't a smart choice on my part and in the end i hurt him as I did myself and I learned so much from him I loved him. And I didnt even realize it until he left.

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    dotsYou Seedots

    You see my angelic smile
    You see my genal eyes
    You see the outside
    The outside of me
    And you see all this
    But what you do not see,hear,or touch
    Is my insides
    Where I'm rotting away
    Slowly but truely
    Waisting away
    Because I miss your love
    Waiting here for you
    My heart is telling me you'll come back
    But my mind and body are saying otherwise
    Which do I believe?
    Which do I follow?
    Do I ingore my heart
    And go with what my body says?
    Or do I follow my heart and wait for you..?
    Which will hurt me more?
    Which will hurt me less?
    I want to know..
    I need to know
    For I can not wait much longer

    Submitted on 2006-08-08 07:05:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
    | Posted on 2010-07-16 00:00:00 | by MrBear | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good. I know the feeling you are talking about. You know, rotting away inside, but I know that feeling for different reasons. I've never really gotten that close to someone and gotten pain like that after losing them. But I know one of these days I will, and it's going to suck.
    Anyways, I've seen a lot of writes based upon the subject, but I loved the words you used. You have this way of letting people know exactly what your feeling, and again I got sucked up into your situation. Very sad, especially the ending, but nice work. Although it probably wasn't work, since this is from a true life experience. It's easy to write about your things that happen in your life. I do it all the time, and it takes so little time to write, because all I'm doing is writing down my feelings.

    Again, great poem

    | Posted on 2006-09-15 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]
      That was a great poem! I like it alot. But if you really love someone, then you can wait for however long it takes to be with them.

    Brianne H.
    | Posted on 2006-08-14 00:00:00 | by skittls | [ Reply to This ]
      nice...i like i like the idea of the whole thing...so very often people look at the exterior and live their entire lives like that....they fail to see the INNER self, that what you are...what YOU have made yourself...
    | Posted on 2006-08-13 00:00:00 | by mihir | [ Reply to This ]
      from the way you write ignoring the mistakes and taking the person your writing about away i think mayby you feel confused to the the way people are and i feel you have reflected this in your work your close to saying what you want to/need to say but need a lil work you are good tho :) just keep putting it down the way you feel
    | Posted on 2006-08-08 00:00:00 | by dark figure | [ Reply to This ]
      u made sum mistakes in ur writng if u dont mind me saying it.i could get the mixed feeling coming of this. i like the the first four lines its a good way of saying that some people dont look to deep into theirs friends,bf,gf ect.
    | Posted on 2006-08-08 00:00:00 | by every48seconds | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting poem, I got the feeling of what you were trying to say, though I can't tell you which to follow because I really don't know myself, good work, Dean
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by Survivor_Dean | [ Reply to This ]

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