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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Kleptocracydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 808
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 683



    Description:
       What might happen if a butchered, raped nation survived?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKleptocracydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Laughing as if angels
    haunted heaven, staggering
    through a pool of stars;
    mercy bled before
    indifferent creeds,
    to cast the curse of wishes
    from the intended hour

    As beauty, pilloried
    became a block of salt
    and plots arose
    to seek a progeny;
    the last witness slaughtered
    like an unclean beast,
    while prescient executioners
    incite riotous glee

    Hush now. Why won't you
    listen to reason?
    If you'd aquiesce, we'd
    leave this theme
    like shed skin
    in an ancient desert;
    I have no mouth
    and I must scream




    Submitted on 2006-08-08 23:02:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      What might happen if a butchered, raped nation survived? Puts me in mind of Lebanon. Perhaps as alteredlife also writes this is because of my single-minded view. I will be taking part in a protest against Israel's 'over-reaction' against the Lebanon on Saturday. Indifferent beliefs reminds me of America and Israel.

    Hush now. Why won't you
    listen to reason?
    If you'd acquiesce, we'd
    leave this theme

    just do what your told and leave your homes and we won't kill you but if like the children of Qana, you can't afford to flee well just too bad - oh and any vehicles moving on the roads now - we'll blow them up.

    When is this country and America going to start calling Israeli over-reaction what it is war crimes, indeed, Id go further and say terrorism. But I forgot over-reaction is too harsh a term. And no Im not being anti-Semitic some of my friends who are helping to organise Saturdays demo are Jewish. They will be saying the same.

    Boy this is becoming a rant rather than a critique of your poem. And you really do have some powerful imagery there. The allegorical allusion to Ruth connotes the people fleeing as God destroys the city of Sodom and I guess they were told not to stick around or look back too.

    the last witness slaughtered
    like an unclean beast,
    while prescient executioners
    incite riotous glee

    Yeah, definately powerful stuff.
    take care
    nessie
    | Posted on 2006-08-10 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
      Unfortunately I don't think asking any parties to listen to reason will do any good here. They all seem determined to slaughter each other without letup. You do a good job here. This is just my pessimism speaking.

    Peace,

    Joe
    | Posted on 2006-08-10 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the title, it's as though freedom has been
    removed from us in an unknowing way, stolen
    before we could discern the truth.

    But we do know the truth, it's only that it's such
    an isolated event in the minds of others:

    Hush now. Why won't you
    listen to reason?
    If you'd aquiesce, we'd
    leave this theme
    like shed skin
    in an ancient desert;
    I have no mouth
    and I must scream


    I don't see anything about this one I would change Bill, it has the trademark strength and conviction you're noted for. Hope all is well in your world, thanks for sharing,

    take care,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2006-08-09 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Kleptocracy: relating to kleptomania, stealing etc? And an institution regarding that? Puts me in mind of America and Israel actually...

    Laughing as if angels
    haunted heaven, staggering
    through a pool of stars;
    mercy bled before
    indifferent creeds,
    to cast the curse of wishes
    from the intended hour


    God's creatures, bleeding for what? Is anyone listening? Not in the right way, or not at all I think.

    As beauty, pilloried
    became a block of salt
    and plots arose
    to seek a progeny;
    the last witness slaughtered
    like an unclean beast,
    while prescient executioners
    incite riotous glee


    Strange that you should talk about salt pillars... seeing as my post right after you did so... relating to sex, power blah blah (insert whatever pisses you off and makes you want to vomit)... executioners: war-mongering sonsofbi.tches, that's what... with nothing to back them up, because war is stupid and evil and only benefits the top dogs in power (blah blah blah again).

    Hush now. Why won't you
    listen to reason?
    If you'd aquiesce, we'd
    leave this theme
    like shed skin
    in an ancient desert;
    I have no mouth
    and I must scream


    Hush? No. Scream? Yes. Deserts? Israel. Politics. Stupid senseless war (blah blah blah).

    I'm not really in the right frame of mind to comment at the moment... but there you go. I don't even think I got what you were talking about, but instead, pushed my own single-minded views upon this. I dunno...

    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-08-08 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]


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