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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ninety-ninedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Saline
    ASL Info:    17/m/chicagooo
    Elite Ratio:    6.69 - 13/15/13
    Words: 488
    Class/Type: Story/
    Total Views: 201
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 2891



    Description:
       Hello everyone, this is my first submission here, written out of a burst of inspiration i had. Any comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated and welcome :).


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNinety-ninedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ninety-nine

         I checked my watch for the third time. 5:50 A.M. If I wanted to do it, I’d better do it quickly. The first signs of an awakening neighborhood began to appear, signaling the end of the tranquil morning hours. Slowly at first, the community collectively stretched its joints and rolled out of bed. If I could only have another thirty minutes… A bleary eyed Mrs. Chang appeared on her porch, complete with her usual flowered night gown and the first of many cups of very black coffee. I knew what was coming next. Like clockwork, at exactly 5:53 A.M., Olivia C. Dahlings exploded around the corner, bustling down the sidewalk with her faithful poodle, Tibah, at her side. I froze in the position I held on my second story windowsill, only relaxing when I realized that Olivia, who was just now completing her third circle around a lamp post, was much too entranced in her daily power-walking routine to notice a half naked boy attempting to climb his roof. Feeling a little less conspicuous, I turned my thoughts to the task at hand. The windowsill that I stood on was roughly five feet from my roof, a stretch that at that height seemed near thrice that. Every time I approached the precipice, my heart jumped and beat furiously against my chest. My hands sweated and shook. The twenty foot drop doubled. After approaching the edge several times without a single attempt, I conceded defeat to those five menacing feet of empty space. I squeezed back through the window, back into my own room, back into the dull safety of my home, and slumped against the wall. For the third time since I’d discovered I could possibly access my roof from my bedroom window, I had not been able to bring myself to try. Gazing emptily across my room I noticed a book lying on the ground, and picking it up I found it was one of my childhood favorites, Animals of the Sea. I flipped through the pages, pausing every so often to read the “Interesting Facts!” that accompanied the vivid, intricate illustrations I remembered as a child. For some reason I stopped on the page regarding Sea Turtles.

    Interesting Fact!
    As little as 1/100 of Sea Turtle hatchlings will survive the dangerous trek from their beach-laid eggs to the sea.

    I read that line over, and over. Stealing one last glance at the drawing provided, a baby turtle swimming freely in an olive green sea, I tore back out of my home, out of my room, and out the window onto the precarious windowsill once again. Eyes locked on the roof across from me, I took a deep breath. Then another. Fuck it. On my third breath, with only hope as my guide, I threw myself into the flawless azure ocean of the warm summer sky.




    Submitted on 2006-08-09 04:43:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You put a lot of depth into your characters that makes them believable. The story pulls you in and the inspiration the main character (you) gets from his childhood book is cleverly done. I'm looking forward to more...

    Marcusj
    | Posted on 2006-09-17 00:00:00 | by Marcusj | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey!
    This is an amazing effort, with a very nicely chosen title! Did this really happen to you? It does give a feeling of reality, it really does!
    Keep it up, and keep trying!
    Peace,
    Mihir
    | Posted on 2006-08-15 00:00:00 | by mihir | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really a good story
    You have captured a true feeling of desire
    This write leaves one recapturing some of the childhhod memories that have gone away and also the Childhood dreams
    I too have a book that was my first book as I child that I read its called
    Where The Wild Things Are
    So many memories are held in the pages of that book
    An excellent Job
    I look forward to reading more new stories and poems from you
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh. Nice imagery! You bring the community to life, the characters aren't flat, you give them colour.
    You also give a good hook to draw in the reader. They start wondering, why does he want to jump out of the window... why is it so important, etc.
    Honestly I don't have anything I'd like to change. You have a strong hold on your vocabulary and grammer.
    Now.... I think you should finish it so I can read more :)

    -Audrey Grace (SheSpeaks)

    Ave atque vale
    | Posted on 2006-08-09 00:00:00 | by AlmostEloquent | [ Reply to This ]
      Where is the next chapter?! I'm hooked. Give me more. lol



    Sita
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by SitaSinclaire | [ Reply to This ]
      I am into it,I will be reading on....you got skillz!
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by CruJones | [ Reply to This ]



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