[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Fragmentsdots

    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 866
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 605

       I wrote this last november. when a friend of mine for pretty much my entire life lost his little sister quite suddenly. And if anybody knows of the law of threes. Well than she was number 2 in a rash of close deaths.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    What if
    we are all
    tiny fragments

    one soul
    seeking enlightenment

    then those that pass on
    never leave us
    they are truly part of us

    Maybe when we dream
    it's a glimpse
    another souls

    What if
    we are all
    just tiny fragments

    Then maybe
    maybe one day
    we will learn
    to love and let die

    When the world ends
    only one life is over
    and our soul
    shall meet god

    Submitted on 2006-08-09 06:37:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      again..i liked this one. i know the law of threes, so far ive been through two of them. one of my best freidns dads died a couple years ago(he was like another father to me) then my grandpa, then a distant family friend. now my grandma has cancer, my chour director got in a car wreck..im waiting for the third to hit. this one touched me...i dont want anyone to die...and i kinda gave up on the faith that got me through some of my earlier years. but this kinda renewed a basic faith, that the people we love will always be conected.

    Maybe when we dream
    it's a glimpse
    another souls

    this makes me think..one of those things that as a random thought is weird, but if you sit and think about it, you cant get the thought out of your head. i like the thought that my dreams are another's soul...and that we are connected. another great write in my opinon...ill be back to read more or yours. ~Nichole
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by butterfly_chi5 | [ Reply to This ]
      heh, another artful write. yeah i read this one twice. the fragments theme was quite nice i might add.

    but what if we were, and the lives of all were really that of one, much like decomposition, the whole flesh wilts away, but piece by piece, til there's none left.

    thats how i related. i thought this one was both light and beautiful when read aloud, and calming to the soul. another fave my friend. many thanks for the read.

    Loquacious Mind
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by Loquacious Mind | [ Reply to This ]
      Neat how your poem was in fragments, too. I noticed that on my second read.

    And I have to say that I really like what this stanza painted in my head:

    "Maybe when we dream
    it's a glimpse
    another souls

    I do think, though that it would read smoother and clearer if it read: "...a glimpse (of) another soul(')s journey"

    Also, "God" should be capitalized, since he is the mightiest of all nouns.

    It's a modest, yet captivating tribute to a harrowing event. I appreciate people who can let go of their own sorrows long enough to observe what's happening to their brother.


    | Posted on 2006-08-09 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The World written by jjd
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Dream written by closetpoet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]