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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fragmentsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 866
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 605



    Description:
       I wrote this last november. when a friend of mine for pretty much my entire life lost his little sister quite suddenly. And if anybody knows of the law of threes. Well than she was number 2 in a rash of close deaths.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFragmentsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What if
    we are all
    tiny fragments

    one soul
    seeking enlightenment


    then those that pass on
    never leave us
    they are truly part of us


    Maybe when we dream
    it's a glimpse
    another souls
    journey


    What if
    we are all
    just tiny fragments


    Then maybe
    maybe one day
    we will learn
    to love and let die


    When the world ends
    only one life is over
    and our soul
    shall meet god




    Submitted on 2006-08-09 06:37:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      again..i liked this one. i know the law of threes, so far ive been through two of them. one of my best freidns dads died a couple years ago(he was like another father to me) then my grandpa, then a distant family friend. now my grandma has cancer, my chour director got in a car wreck..im waiting for the third to hit. this one touched me...i dont want anyone to die...and i kinda gave up on the faith that got me through some of my earlier years. but this kinda renewed a basic faith, that the people we love will always be conected.

    Maybe when we dream
    it's a glimpse
    another souls
    journey

    this makes me think..one of those things that as a random thought is weird, but if you sit and think about it, you cant get the thought out of your head. i like the thought that my dreams are another's soul...and that we are connected. another great write in my opinon...ill be back to read more or yours. ~Nichole
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by butterfly_chi5 | [ Reply to This ]
      heh, another artful write. yeah i read this one twice. the fragments theme was quite nice i might add.

    but what if we were, and the lives of all were really that of one, much like decomposition, the whole flesh wilts away, but piece by piece, til there's none left.

    thats how i related. i thought this one was both light and beautiful when read aloud, and calming to the soul. another fave my friend. many thanks for the read.

    Loquacious Mind
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by Loquacious Mind | [ Reply to This ]
      Neat how your poem was in fragments, too. I noticed that on my second read.

    And I have to say that I really like what this stanza painted in my head:

    "Maybe when we dream
    it's a glimpse
    another souls
    journey"

    I do think, though that it would read smoother and clearer if it read: "...a glimpse (of) another soul(')s journey"

    Also, "God" should be capitalized, since he is the mightiest of all nouns.

    It's a modest, yet captivating tribute to a harrowing event. I appreciate people who can let go of their own sorrows long enough to observe what's happening to their brother.

    Share.
    Suven

    | Posted on 2006-08-09 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ]


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