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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sestina for a Dogdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 410
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1100
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2457



    Description:
       My first attempt at a particular form.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSestina for a Dogdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What was I thinking- letting the dog run loose?
    She hasn’t come back, and it’s been seven days.
    A week now my boy’s been roaming the streets
    Looking for clues and crying for his girl.
    Maybe she was hit by a car or stolen,
    Or maybe she just found a better family.

    It’s not the same here without Mercy, the family
    Dog, to talk to, without having to sweep up her loose
    Hairs drifting across the hardwood. She’d join me for stolen
    Naps on summer afternoons, and on school days
    Wait to hear the call of her boy, “Here girl!”
    After the school bus dumped him on the street.

    Some day my son will buy a house on a dead-end street
    With a big yard, when he’s thinking of starting a family.
    He’ll search and search for a beautiful girl
    To marry. They’ll have children that he will let loose
    To play in the big yard. It’s then he’ll remember the days
    Spent searching for our dog, and imagine his own daughter - stolen.

    The one who took his dog at sixteen will have stolen
    Again a tiny piece of his sanity. He must keep his daughter off the street!
    She’ll stay under the protection of her father until the day
    She finally says she must break free of this smothering family.
    Then her mother, thinking everything will be okay, will let her loose
    Into the big wide world that calls sweetly to dogs and young girls.

    And my grown boy will look for clues and cry for his girl,
    Fearing the worst, that his daughter has been stolen.
    After all, they let rapists and murderers loose
    Through loopholes every day to roam the streets
    Just looking to devour some unsuspecting family
    And then act as if it’s just another day.

    But for now, we’ll just spend another day
    Crying for Mercy and warning the boys and girls
    In the neighborhood to keep a close watch on their family
    Dogs, so their beloved pets don’t also get stolen.
    Because there seems to be a dognapper running loose
    Through what we once believed were our safe streets.

    As for Mercy, we’ll keep her in our family prayers each day,
    And we’ll keep the curtains open for stolen glances into the street,
    Hoping the dognapper, thinking everything will be okay, will let our girl loose.






    Submitted on 2006-08-09 09:52:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      God, I've been meaning to try a sestina for ages but I always forget the order of the end words... grrr.

    This was exceptionally written... the way you fit some of those end words in repeatedly yet gave each use a new twist-- sometimes enjambing it to get that effect, sometimes giving that word a different shade to its meaning.

    Impressive, truly.

    As for the subject, it pulled me in and along smoothly... you made the story progress linearly and expressively.

    Nicely done.
    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-08-10 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      What was I thinking- letting the dog run loose?
    She hasn’t come back, and it’s been seven days.
    A week now my boy’s been roaming the streets
    Looking for clues and crying for his girl.
    Maybe she was hit by a car or stolen,
    Or maybe she just found a better family.

    It’s not the same here without Mercy, the family
    Dog, to talk to, without having to sweep up her loose
    Hairs drifting across the hardwood. She’d join me for stolen
    Naps on summer afternoons, and on school days
    Wait to hear the call of her boy, “Here girl!”
    After the school bus dumped him on the street.

    Some day my son will buy a house on a dead-end street
    With a big yard, when he’s thinking of starting a family.
    He’ll search and search for a beautiful girl
    To marry. They’ll have children that he will let loose
    To play in the big yard. It’s then he’ll remember the days
    Spent searching for our dog, and imagine his own daughter - stolen.

    The one who took his dog at sixteen will have stolen
    Again a tiny piece of his sanity. He must keep his daughter off the street!
    She’ll stay under the protection of her father until the day
    She finally says she must break free of this smothering family.
    Then her mother, thinking everything will be okay, will let her loose
    Into the big wide world that calls sweetly to dogs and young girls.

    And my grown boy will look for clues and cry for his girl,
    Fearing the worst, that his daughter has been stolen.
    After all, they let rapists and murderers loose
    Through loopholes every day to roam the streets
    Just looking to devour some unsuspecting family
    And then act as if it’s just another day.

    But for now, we’ll just spend another day
    Crying for Mercy and warning the boys and girls
    In the neighborhood to keep a close watch on their family
    Dogs, so their beloved pets don’t also get stolen.
    Because there seems to be a dognapper running loose
    Through what we once believed were our safe streets.

    As for Mercy, we’ll keep her in our family prayers each day,
    And we’ll keep the curtains open for stolen glances into the street,
    Hoping the dognapper, thinking everything will be okay, will let our girl loose.


    So, the family is now Mercy-less? The paranoia you inject in the latter sections of this post is pricelessly absurd and absolutely true. Fathers have enough difficulty separating from their daughters; are you supposing it may because of the real or imagined theft of a beloved pet when they were boys? Hmmm... God help the wives they may lock in basements! ;) :D

    As much as I dislike the sestina as a formal structure, I enjoyed this post for its humor, thoughtful observations and content.

    Nicely done.
    Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-08-09 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting piece, comparing dog to daughter; not the way I thought you were going to take it. You do a nice job here. I won't go into form. That's not my strong suit. Good work.

    Peace,

    Joe
    | Posted on 2006-08-09 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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