Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

I Don't Think You'd Care


Author: Toxic Rose
Elite Ratio:    5.82 - 159 /220 /97
Words: 290
Class/Type: Poetry /Venting
Total Views: 823
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1851



Description:


I hope he reads this.
...Fat chance. It was a load off my mind, anyways.


I Don't Think You'd Care



I'm standing here
With broken promises
Tied up inside me
I'm waiting here
Thinking of what you said
And I know you were lying
Lying..
Lying...

If I were to scream
Baby would you hear me?
If I was to shout in pain
When I'm running lost in the rain
If I were to scream
I don't think you'd hear me
I don't think you'd care.

You once told me
That I wasn't good enough
Have I proved you wrong yet?
You once believed
That you had led me to see
It'd be better if we'd never met

If I were to scream
Baby would you hear me?
If I was to shout in pain
When I'm running lost in the rain
If I were to scream
I don't think you'd hear me
I don't think you'd care.

I tried so hard and fell so far
Even wished upon a shooting star
But in the end, I got what was best
And I stood my ground- have I passed the test?!

If I were to scream
Baby would you hear me?
If I was to shout in pain
When I'm running lost in the rain
If I were to scream
I don't think you'd hear me
I don't think you'd care.

I can't hold it back inside
You broke my soul, and I know you tried
To capture me in your misery
But it didn't work, 'cause now I'm free

If I were to scream
Baby would you hear me?
If I was to shout in pain
When I'm running lost in the rain
If I were to scream
I don't think you'd hear me
I don't think you'd care.





Submitted on 2006-08-09 11:07:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This seems pretty song-like with a bit of fixing up. It's definitely a rant! I did that so much... I'd get home and just turn out poem after poem just because I had so much to get out... now I guess I am a bit more guarded with my rants and feverish postings... although I'm not saying it's a bad thing.

"When I'm running lost in the rain"

after I read this line, I instantly had this wondering imagery... this girl maniacly running, lost in the rain, screaming, her hair drenched in rain and tears, the rain swirling greens and blues around her...

okay, so I got a little carried away but still.

Peace, LucyDiamond
| Posted on 2006-10-15 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



113766