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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Room and Boarddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Swanne
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 258/206/43
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 205
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 561



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRoom and Boarddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Welcome,
    into my house of clutter
    Welcome,
    to my bed of madness
    where I will be sober
    tomorrow
    the glamour face burned out
    yesterday
    like your roaches that I keep
    lined in my pockets
    in place of one pure rose
    limp and cracking
    words never did form petals
    that shine and cry
    with morning dew
    Note fate, never fret
    Just do not leave me alone
    that could never kill
    my constant beauty
    blood and seeds
    It is all for your hands




    Submitted on 2006-08-09 20:42:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I just loved this. It was like you were saying you have room for more madness in your life. I could not tell if you menat for this in a literal way to a person or if you were speaking emotionally. Hell, it could work both ways really. Again, clever imagery and near perfect flow. Strong, mature thinking is needed to absorb this poem and it is worth the time to read and ponder over. I love the title. Again, you did great!

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      hm... i think the beginning was really nice... x.x well, I personally don't like mentioning roaches or other icky things but.... i dunno i feel like after that it kinda meandered and got muddled in the imagery. Huh. I feel like it could be a lot more centered and be a lot powerful, especially with such a great beginning!! You pulled me in really well and then lost me. ;_; ~Cora
    | Posted on 2006-08-09 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]
      Holy Hannah dear!!!!!! Chilling. Powerful.well costructed.

    words never did form petals
    that shine and cry

    Burned into my mind.... Well done.
    | Posted on 2006-08-09 00:00:00 | by manicsmuse | [ Reply to This ]



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