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Lie to me
| Well this is definately a good one as far as the whole "love the one that hurts you" thing goes.|
Is it just me or is this a univeral concept amongst "friends" now a days?..."I hate hurting but will hurt if you disrespect. I like respect but wont give more than I get."
Or is that just how rappers think?
Hard to pull off these one word/short lined writes. Definately requires thought and focus...I think you had that going on here.
|| Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ] || The 'surpise' ending is what made this well written, You did well convey the truths about some 'friends'. I agree with Loquacious. This needs a title...how I hate good works that don't have a name. It makes me feel sad for them.||| Posted on 2006-08-10 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ] || ***disappoint....-1s +1p.|
I loved the twist here at the ending. It causes you to reread due to the misconception formed through the ongoing description and picture of the shadeformed character you've mentioned.
added it to the fav's. there you go, a piece i have nothing negative to say on...
but the title, i thought you could've at least named your poem. its like birthing a fatherless child, and instead of naming his Dante, or Jonathan or something, his rightful name and title throughout is [censored], Whoreson of a Brazen, or something like that until he discovers names meaning, and names himself-for the mother couldn't be concerned w/a fitting title for her son .
i could see if you had a number of untitled songs or sonnets all connected in content and meaning, but...not here *shakes finger and hugs ya*
this one was a wow though. i look forward to reading more works of this caliber from you.
ps. loved the spatial thought here. not many poets even know how to use this without looking to be overly under-educated and sloppy, but you pulled it off with some finess *claps*
merry meet and blessed be
|| Posted on 2006-08-10 00:00:00 | by Loquacious Mind | [ Reply to This ] || ...huh. Wow. I skimmed this and didn't expect much from it... the end made me go back and read it several times over. |
That's all I'm going to say.... ~Cora
|| Posted on 2006-08-10 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ] |