Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ripplesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: yellow balloons
    ASL Info:    16
    Elite Ratio:    3 - 7/3/9
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 404
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1168



    Description:
       8 hours at a rehab center for my friend who is addicted to meth.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRipplesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Unsteady seating, our spot littered with leaves
    And watching the sun set into skinny trees
    Like a peach that's ripened and dipped in a sink
    Of every shade of blue in a downpour of ink
    That will ripple and bubble as tides get too strong
    And stop to settle when the wind moves along
    Theyíre watchful, and stare down on our shadows
    But I walk you to the dock, at the peak of the shallows
    We swish and sway because itís communication
    And you lay in my lap in hesitation
    I falter
    You alter
    Because your position is flooding my mind
    With memories Iím truly terrified to unwind
    I flash back to November, remembering how
    She used to rest her head too, but can never now
    We ended up here, against all the odds
    And the sunlight is streaming; the juice of the gods
    Iím humming to the beat of a riverbank song
    That floats and swims and dives right along
    But the unspoken truth: this picture is all wrong
    We sit in wonder
    Staring only at each other
    And say
    How is it we ended up down here at the bay?




    Submitted on 2006-08-10 14:43:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    113918

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Love written by saartha
    Yes written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    You read free written by poetotoe
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fasade written by jackz
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry