This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: lynn marsters
ASL Info:    20/f/canada
Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 49 /61 /32
Words: 256
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1192
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1380


umm, My brain does weird things, please, please, please, please comment, I love all comment good bad short long whatever please comment


Estoria in the mind of time held me in a pause
I was in and of it
the sound
The spectacular beauty
In the highest of senses
And yet I was alone and afraid,
Afraid of the beauty
Afraid of the sound,
Afraid of how I might look up against the eyes of the almighty
Standing in the hands of god.

And yet I allowed for a certain weakness and frustration to come over me,
How is it that I should be judged by those so far below me,
I who indeed tower greatly above all else, excepting Him,
Who has allowed to attain such an extravagant height.
Who has in fact lifted me and put me where I now reside in His awesome shadow,
But no longer in the shadows of others,
For now it is I who am the shadow over them

In time my senses have grown to a miraculous new concept of existence,
As my physical body wears away in death and in rot,
I see still,
I see with the eyes of god and I hear in his ears,
He grants me all things and I want for nothing,
He grants me what no others have
And as I rot here my sickly flesh reveals the last remnants of my humanity,
My eternal grin, peeking showily through the flesh of what was my face
And the slow, steady rhythm of my ever beating heart

Submitted on 2006-08-10 16:58:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  hmm... Don't really know what estoria is... a name perhaps?
somehow i liked this, the part of the eternal grin really got me. well... in death you become greater than you were in life, manny religions see it as another (higher) existance. the way you describe it is really good, makes you wonder wheather you have been there or not
this is really good all in all, good choice of words, immagery, flow and storyline.
..........................................<----insert random praise here

The little good wolf^
| Posted on 2007-10-17 00:00:00 | by Wolfie | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, it was interesting, but I have absolutely NO idea what it was about. I can't give you any criticism, constructive or otherwise. I'm really sorry. I just don't understand it. Me. All me. mae
| Posted on 2007-08-19 00:00:00 | by mae | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?