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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Drinking her indots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 482
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 418



    Description:
       a lil something new since ive been gone so long


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDrinking her indots
    -------------------------------------------


    She is sweet to taste
    Like raspberry liquor.
    The room smells like burning leaves
    There is comfort in her nakedness
    Like a road well traveled, and yet still new
    She is my midnight sky , my quite ocean
    Her breaths are like music, sweet rhythm
    Our nights are like a constant prayer
    I am forever on my knees, bowing.
    So near and still so far above me




    Submitted on 2006-08-10 23:02:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like all the descriptive language you used in this one. I think the word 'nakedness' just doesn't quite seem to fit with the rest of the words you've chosen, but that's just me.

    This piece conveys the mood and sets the scene very well, it creates strong images, as it was no doubt meant to.

    Nice job.
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by blackrainbow | [ Reply to This ]


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