I Wait For Just One Touch by Swanne

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Submission Name: I Wait For Just One Touch dots

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Author:	Swanne
Elite Ratio:	4.31 - 258/206/43
Words:	105

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	178
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	794

Description:

I Wait For Just One Touch dots

-------------------------------------------

Further
my fingers
that hover over the dip
above your lip
that strangely
seems beautiful
just now
give to me
this moment
to outlive them all
even perhaps
more wonderful
then the day you
claimed my
spine exquisite
then we
passed out
together
on the stairs.

Spread
like grape jelly
on my cold floor
clumsy hands
reaching out
that have
alluring become
handsome as
you recline
at my tiny feet
may this be
the time
you come
so lightly
to relieve me
of life
of love
if not
I will wait
for you
endlessly

Submitted on 2006-08-11 00:40:43 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Swanne,

What could be more alluring than a girl with tiny feet who writes about peanut butter and jelly.

It could only be her touch to a lovers lips or the fact that she will wait endlessly for his love.

In your typical style I can read this over and over again, getting something new from it each time!

It's the same each time you change your Avitar as well.

You truly have many many facets!

Donn
| Posted on 2006-09-25 00:00:00 | by D McDaniel | [ Reply to This ]
  MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...Sort of sultry and how can one not put a somewhat sly smile on their face after reading this?
I cant.

I felt a night to morning vibe with a hint of cant wait till today passes and becomes tonight mixed into the sentiment of this write. Boodala, boodala...goobada, goobada!

yeah, I agree with the title...quite a way to end a hard days work Swanneeeeeee-na-neeeee!

| Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this part:

I Wait For Just One Touch
-------------------------------------------

Further
my fingers
that hover over the dip
above your lip
that strangely
seems beautiful
just now
give to me
this moment
to outlive them all
even perhaps
more wonderful
then the day you
claimed my
spine exquisite
then we
passed out
together
on the stairs.

Spread
like grape jelly
on my cold floor
clumsy hands
reaching out
that have
alluring become
handsome as
you recline
at my tiny feet
may this be
the time
you come
so lightly
to relieve me
of life
of love
if not
I will wait
for you
endlessly

The End.
| Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by manicsmuse | [ Reply to This ]
  this poem evokes imagery and emotions in a perfect picture in the brain. I think one of the qualities of the piece also is the manner in which you layed out small short stanzas, which while broken individually, coalesce perfectly into a sild piece when combined with the others. It invokes thoughts of a forbidden love with certain lines such as

"you come
so lightly
to relieve me
of life
of love
if not
I will wait
for you
endlessly"

i dunno it just somehow hints in my mind of a love that should not or isn't supposed to be but then again that's just my thoughts and stuff.

All in all a very nicely done piece, and thank you for sharing!!

Meow!!!
| Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by lynxstarfire | [ Reply to This ]

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