Things with Mason are moving along well. It didn't really occur to me how much I loved him until today though when we talked. It was only 2 hours but it was just so.....surreal.
Mason talks often about how he wants to spend basically the rest of his life with me. How he wants to get married, have kids, have a family. I've thought about it, and it would be great having someone there for me, always. But then again, put youself in my shoes. I've never been in a serious relationship. This is my first, and think about it. Would you really want the first person you've ever went out with to be your last, with nothing in between?
I would love to be best friends with Mason util I'm in my late 30's. Then I could spend the rest of my life with him. Right now, it's budding romance, and we hvae a really good connection, but think about this. Mason, nor I, will move from our hometowns until we go off to college. He's one grade ahead of me, and he'll go to college one year before me, and that's another thing. I'm torn between two places: Boston and New York City. I would love to report in Boston, but New York City just has that..... spirit that I love. Manhattan, someday I want to live there, it's just so.......surreal. I don't know, I have 2 to 3 years to think about this, so I'm not going to worry about it now.
But marriage!? I don't even believe in marriage! Two people should just be together for the sake of wanting to be together. That way, you don't even have to go through all that messy divorce court and paperwork. But when we're teenagers, why do we even think about being together forever? It's not like at this age the relationship is going to go anywhere, especially when your significant other lives over 2 hours away. We know we're going to break up sometime, just not now, someimte in the future. It's like....why?
When we're teenagers, is there even a purpose to dating?
As I look at his picture i imagine Mason as a computer program let's call him MasonV4.1. I have his pictures, the video, and I hear his voice, the audio, but....there's something missing. There's no interaction. If I was to sell MasonV4.1, I wouldn't make much money, becuase You can look and listen but you can't touch.
His family found out about me, his mom freaked. His stepdad was pretty kool with it. He said that he would drive Mason out here to see me if I came out to my parents, and told them about Mason. There's always a catch, of course. And what is that? Three time a year, if I'm lucky I bet. I don't want to say it, but we're going to having to break up someday, even if it is 'til death do us part'.