The shallow depth of darkness glistens on her lips
A taste she cannot describe pulsates her ears
As the howling of welcome pierces the coldness with a shrill choir of meaning
And terror calls across the stark of dawn
Insipid though she finds it, she cries for more inside
To alleviate the pangs of gnawing want
And the reason born of beauty cannot quell the depths to stay
Before they burn
Twinkle shine upon her
Blaspheme upon her name
Yet she holds you in her thoughts and you shall not be free
Her melody alone, distrusts a mind to back
While the lilting of each footstep bars escape
So do you understand my friend why some shall call her queen?
And to us the chosen few, she is matriarch
the only probelms i found were, you spelt blasphemy wrong, and the last line, the word matriarch doesnt seem to fit. by all means do keep wrting freeverse. if you feel comfortable with them, keep going with rhymes. like me, you seems to have a little difficulty with the lines and where they should end, but dont let that discourage you. this is a really good piece, and i quite like it. perhaps the title doesnt quite fit, but as a working title its fine.
Submission Name: Mother?
