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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What were you doing with medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: charmedidentity
    ASL Info:    21/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    7.16 - 816/808/357
    Words: 226
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 175
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1401



    Description:
       I was looking at a picture of me and my b/f when we first met and i realized that the situation was wrong but because of the decision i made, i have to live with it despite it being wrong...Still i'm happy with what happened.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat were you doing with medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Puzzled by the pictures of the past,
    Silenced by the thoughts of today,
    I lost my senses through emotions.
    Complex the reality has always been,
    Intense have we fought the battle of love,
    I still don’t know what I was thinking.

    I was fifteen when we first met
    And although I knew boys before
    I never thought I’d fall for you.
    You were a wild type of guy
    And I was this shy, innocent girl.
    I was at home most of the time
    You were in nightclubs dancing.
    How we got together is unknown
    I rebelled against my parents,
    They threatened to kick me out
    But I risked it all to be with you.

    Three years has passed us by
    And we’ve pulled all the strings;
    The doubts and misunderstandings
    With commitment and compassion,
    All of this has made us stronger.
    Yet I can’t help but reflect on our past
    As I look back on our pictures,
    I was so young, so different from you
    It almost seemed to be illegal.
    But now I am all grown and mature
    My conscious says this was all wrong.

    Please don’t have me mistaken
    I love everything we share
    And if I realized I was wrong
    Maybe we wouldn’t be together.
    Yet what has been done is done
    And I am happy with my decision.




    Submitted on 2006-08-11 12:30:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Nice ending, at least. Sounds more like thoughts to someone else than a poem.
    I can't believe everything is making me cry right now....

    Anyways this was a nice write anyways. I am happy with it, and I need something to be happy about right now.
    Thanks- Keep writing, your very original... and that's good.

    Sorry I cant comment on more of your work, but I am trying to space my name out through a lot of people and get a lot of comments back on my things.
    Oh, don't worry though... I'll be back.

    necrotic
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. The flow was consistant and the word choice simple yet effective. While reading, I felt many different emotions such as, love, sorrow, and confusion. Putting more than one emotion is great and the sign of a fantastic writer. I can understand this very well because if I look back on some of my past relationships, I realize that the choice i made to be with whoever it was at the time was very wrong. And though I don't regret it because I enjoyed it at the time, it was stil a mistake to me. Great write. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading.

    Sweet Blood Vampire
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by SweetX_XBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      the first thing i noticed was the title What were you doing with me? <--don't know if that's what you meant

    the next thing is...try not to use the word "I" over-much. its gets repetitive at times, sometimes annoying.

    for example...

    I was fifteen when we first met
    And although I knew boys before

    and then this

    I was fifteen when we first met
    And having known boys before...

    doesn't affect the meaning all too much, and keeps you from sounding repetitive w/the recurrent i's .

    should...
    Please don’t have me mistaken
    I love everything "we share"

    have been...
    Please don’t have me mistaken
    I love everything we "shared"
    ???

    but aside those few gripes, this was quite moving, even moreso when read aloud.

    its tough to move on from a decision that was so heartfelt, and yet you know it was never meant to be, much like suicide. for those who have gone and passed away if they could be w/us today...

    the pain was pleasure, and blood was wine, and they held their glass high to the heavens, took a toast for Whatever Comes Next, and closed their eyes-at peace once more...

    *sighs* another fav. it was like i could see and feel you there pouring out tears over his image w/u...beautiful.

    merry meet and blessed be
    Loquacious Mind
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by Loquacious Mind | [ Reply to This ]
      ha ha, sounds like my relationship with my guy. only i DID get kicked out for being with him. he wasnt perhaps as wild as your BF sounds, but he is pretty out there.
    it always seems taht way, doesnt it. after a while you start to see the things you never saw before, and you start to doubt things.
    hopefully you make the right decisions out of them. my worst fear is that i wont.
    ive been with my BF 2 years, and living with him for 1. my mother kicked me out, because i was with him, and then his mother didnt really kick us out, but drove us out, ebcause she just changed too much, and we couldnt deal with it any more.
    hope your love tale hasnt been as tough.
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by eowyn | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. It is really very great and reflects the wisdom of a teenager. The doubts and misunderstandings
    With commitment and compassion,
    All of this has made us stronger.
    Yet I can’t help but reflect on our past" Teen age is very mischievousand we judje things with haste and emotionally. the poem is very nice with an inherent message, rather a supple advice to the lovers to think twice before acting. A stich in time is better ...." Love should not be made on emotions and it must remain life long. I feel the poem gives a nice message to all teenage lovers so that they make their love more happier! Take care dear Irina.
    | Posted on 2006-08-29 00:00:00 | by ceegeeess | [ Reply to This ]



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