Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

your gone (tonya)


Author: dark figure
ASL Info:    17/m/uk
Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 66 /74 /29
Words: 218
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1102
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1177



Description:


i was having a very bad time... my girl friend died in a car crash and i didnt know how to cope with it still dont... its crap i know that but it was the emotion i felt then


your gone (tonya)



your dead didn't get to say bye
reminded by life but no tears left to cry
broken in half but that’s half to many times
and every day I blame my self as I commit self harm crimes
you left me cold but we were to young
again reminded of the day the blue bird sung
why you... wish it was me
left me here as you went to the land of the free
I will be freed of this guilt that was placed upon me
all my emotions sway unpredictable as if it was one with the sea
what I wouldn’t do for just one last moment
even if it meant taking you from the heavens with out consent
I couldn’t save you couldn’t even make it to your funeral...
I was late as the heavens made its call
I love you more than life
if you lived for longer I would have want you to be my wife
with out you I’m only half a book
you were ripped from my life like a fish on a hook
only half a boy what does this mean
will never be able to start fresh with my couple of dreams
to love but never be loved in return
this is starting to put my life in concern




Submitted on 2006-08-11 15:20:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This is sad, but full of love and rememberance. it's always hard to write about a lost loved one, there is always so much you feel and so little time or ink to put it all down.

My favorite line is "without you Im only half a book," I really liked that, it shows you did put alot of thought into this.

My heart goes out to you, Im sorry that you had to experience this kind of loss, but everything happenes for a reason, and we learn from everything, with this experience you now have the tools to help others in the same situation. And that is very important.

Stay strong. And Keep writing.
| Posted on 2007-07-03 00:00:00 | by Olivia Jade | [ Reply to This ]
  aww. thats so sweet and sad,too.i had almost a similar problem except w/ a child. i aslo wrote a poem about it similar to this one.like when you wrote 'why you..wish it was me'. it's in my journal, i posted it but my cuosin got onto my page and erased it.just didn't have the time to post it again.any way i loved this poem, there were a few spelling errors but w/e i don't like to point that out much.people get mad wen i say that. sorry about you girl tonya.

jenn
| Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by bbcherry | [ Reply to This ]
  Another great piece. I'm so sorry you lost her. She was lucky to have you. All of it is very sad - especialy lines 1, 4, 13, 14, 16, 21 and 22. Two lines that stand out as amazing are lines 12 and 18. There's no way this qualifies for crap and the emotion is genuine. I liked it, even though it breaks my heart for you.
| Posted on 2006-08-29 00:00:00 | by Lisa Milligan | [ Reply to This ]
  time dulls the pain, but doesnt take it away
the years will pass, but you will love again,your so young Rak,it will happen again,believe in that
dont forget her, just keep her in your heart
~Tracy
| Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by DesecratedDream | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



114070