Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ripping youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 913
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1194



    Description:
       this sucks when ya read it but if ya heard me scream it like a psycho who is bent on Love while on stage ya might understand the picture or the message I am trying to send---picture danzig with the Misfits and that is this style song


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsripping youdots
    -------------------------------------------



    ripping you

    Except each side
    Try not to detest
    But confide
    in some
    more than usual
    suspects remain suspect
    to those too direct
    nothings perfect
    but I am so close

    I still wouldn’t tell
    Of this hell story
    That she told me
    never to speak of
    But then I fell,
    again…
    slipped up
    ripped up
    in some downtown ally
    I’ve only seen in my dreams

    nothings new
    in the same ole do see doh
    only you knew
    I was not what ya wanted
    Never wanted to be forever haunted
    by my
    painfull cries
    last place never gets a prize
    my blankened eyes
    never hid the disguise
    my failing heart
    was always untrue
    right was wrong
    from the start
    of ripping you apart

    ***ChOrUs***

    (((((((ripping you apart
    was all I ever wanted
    I felt that you deserved
    every woman
    and girl
    I hate all of you
    but it's you I hate
    most of all)))))))))))))))))

    lamemansterms




    Submitted on 2006-08-11 21:20:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey as a writer and a fellow singer, i can understand this message clearly. i am actually going through something like this situation of love. my babe just left me bout 3 weeks ago and it's been the hardest thing for me to deal with and i just wrote a soong base on her called "HOLD ON!" which i posted just a moment ago. but anyways bout the song. i love the way you put such emotion and scaring into the words you chose. it shows how much you were hurt and torn by this person. the wording couldn't really get any better. i also could deffinatly picture this as a song that misfits would sing. sometimes i wish i could sing death metal like that but i'm a soft rock, hard rock, soft metal type of singer. but i'd love to hear this live someday. and rock on. who knows maybe one day we'll hear one anothers songs live someday.

    brandon
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by disturbedx1000 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    114114

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry